Spoiled How Gifts Can Help or Hinder a Relationship

Giving gifts, sometimes it is between only you and a spouse and other times you have so many gifts on your list to buy that you wonder if you are supporting a small village somewhere? It can get out of hand very quickly especially at work and also during the infamous "Holiday" season.

At work there is always something going on that will require a gift or contribution to a gift or party; just because of the social order and sometimes you develop your social life at your job and it starts to be expected that you are a regular contributor. But it truly gets out of hand when you don't even know the people you are being asked to honor with a gift and yet they are getting married or having a baby; you have to know when to say no.

Families tend to overdo the gift thing with each generation repeating the same honored and albeit dysfunctional traditions that need to be either revamped or can be completely obliterated. While it may have been a real God send to give Aunt Mary a Christmas sweater in 1973 when she was 14; it is very impractical to send one to your 16 year old nephew "Thug" in California. Not only do most people have too much "stuff" already, each generation have different gift rules that can be implemented. For instance, just because your parents gave each other appliances and tools for their anniversaries won't mean that this is what you or your spouse requires. It is always a good idea to brainstorm and come up with a plan before any party or event because when people have to guess at gifts they usually draw on their own experiences to guide them. Communication is always a key factor when trying to upgrade a tradition.

When the economy is not doing well the meaning of gifts and heartfelt help is much more appreciated and remembered. When the economy is great then most people including their children and family, even pets have more than enough stuff and toys that it gets very difficult to even know what to buy for someone especially if you have to constantly be giving gifts throughout the year. In some social circles it gets so ridiculous to bring "a little something" to every event that you almost are guaranteed to repeat a previous gift you have given or someone else has brought. So, don't be afraid to just say "no", it will get easier in the long run the more you practice.