Spoilers for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? Impossible!

I am a spoiler junky. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I am impatient by nature-something I do not regard as a character flaw. I was born this way. I was a child who always sought (and found) her Christmas presents. Those few years that my mother managed to hide them successfully found me secretly slitting the tape so I could peek inside. To me, it was part of the fun-a game of hide and seek that enhanced rather than spoiled Christmas morning.

So as the new Harry Potter book approaches, I would love to be able to get my hands on a good spoiler. Sadly, none exists. The only person whom anyone could truly be believed is being closed lip on the subject.

J. K. Rowling has officially made a point of not saying anything about the ending of her final Harry Potter book. In fact, she has gone out of her way to avoid speculating by stating on her website, "I can hardly believe that I've finally written the ending I've been planning for so many years. I've never felt such a mixture of extreme emotions in my life, never dreamed I could feel simultaneously heartbroken and euphoric."

So, without the one and only true source of Harry Potter knowledge, how can there be any "true" spoilers in existence until 12:01 BST (British Summer Time), July 21, 2007? Of course, we all know that Wikipedia will have been updated with the entire plot mere moments after the book is released. Since 12:01AM July 21 in Britain is still 7:01PM on July 20 EDT (Eastern Daylight Time) that gives avid Brits plenty of time to read the book and post its content on the Internet. So, if you want true spoilers for the book, you'll simply have to wait until then.

Already people are going to great lengths in an effort to avoid potential "Harry Potter spoilage." Wal-Mart announced that there will be no discussion of the book at the registers to ensure that the ending is not spoiled for unsuspecting shoppers. (Not sure what they'll do when I wear my "Harry Potter dies" T-shirt . . . I'm kidding. While I love spoilers, I am not so cold-hearted to want to spoil things for the rest of you.) Wikipedia has locked its page on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to prevent vandalism.

Once the book is released, I'm sure it will cause a major division across the world as it is divided into the "haves" and the "have-nots." Those who have read the book will congregate to discuss the contents in great length. Those who have not read the book will be forced to isolate and hum show tunes anytime the subject comes up.

However, that is once the book is out. Until then, there are no real spoilers that anyone can trust. Since it is Rowling's last Harry Potter book, one realizes that everyone-even Harry Potter himself. Killing of a lead character is not a new concept.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle did it. In "The Final Problem," the beloved Sherlock Holmes went over the Reichenbach Falls while struggling with his nemesis was Professor James Moriarty. Doyle had intended this to be the final Holmes story, but outraged fans flooded him with letters until he resurrected Holmes. Joss Whedon also did it-twice-during the seven year run of the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Once rather briefly during the first season and then again at the end season five.

So, Potter fans should not be so quick to bury Harry Potter should he die at the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Although they seem real, fictional characters have abilities that we simply do not.

Although, one cannot forgot that authors have ways of ensuring that their creations do not return. Agatha Christie managed to kill off the Hercule Poirot in Curtain: Poirot's Last Case. Since Poirot died from complications due to a heart condition, it was almost impossible for anyone to invent a method of bringing him back to life.

Also, we cannot ignore the warning Rowling gave in June 2006 when she stated, "One character got a reprieve, but I have to say two die that I didn't intend to die. ... A price has to be paid. We are dealing with pure evil." Ever since Rowling admitted this, spoilers have burst from every edge of the Internet about who the two will be. It's gotten to the point that I'm certain that it would be very difficult for any Harry Potter character to get life insurance right now.

Most everyone assumes that Rowling means major characters that have already been introduced to us. For all we really know, she could introduce one or two new characters in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows or she could reintroduce minor characters into more major roles. Sure, this reeks of the infamous Star Trek ploy, but it always works. (For you nontrekkies, it was a common occurrence on the Star Trek televisionshows for any crewmembers who had never been seen before to die on away missions. Usually, the extras were ensigns, wore red shirts, and usually accompanied a major character.)

As I said, it's an old ploy. Still, would any true Harry Potter fan object to it if it deflected a fatal blow meant for one of the more beloved characters? I doubt it. However, this is all mere speculation. The more one tries to logically deduce what J. K. Rowling will do, the more one forgets that the one thing she can be depended upon doing is surprise us. Logic and imagination are not often traveling companions, and Rowling's imagination is vast enough to span the globe seven times over. The rest of us simply have to muddle-or muggle-our way through until July 21.

Meanwhile, all the people who think they know or pretend they know and valiantly try to spoil it for the rest of the fans. If you're concerned that they might get to you as you count the seconds until midnight, allow me to remind you that at this point lying is quite easy because so few know the truth.

I'm fairly certain that with the right font and a few scanned images of another Harry Potter book, I could fake an ending that would fool almost anyone. When the real ending comes out, I would simply claim that it was an alternate version written by Rowling. Alternatively, I could claim that my sister's cousin's roommate temped at Bloomsbury Publishing and managed to sneak a peak at the final pages. (If I had a sister, that is.)

In other words, I could say almost anything to lend credibility to my lies. It won't make them true nor will it enable you to deduce which of the multitude of spoilers are true until you read the ending. If, at that point, you discover that one of the spoilers you had read were true will it ruin the ending for you? It shouldn't-you still didn't know the ending until you finally read it.

That's part of the fun of spoilers-speculating if they are true or false. Sure, sometimes you get definitive proof with the spoiler, but those times are rare-or in the case of Harry Potter, impossible. For that reason, I have given up looking for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Like you, I will all have to wait until the seventh and final Harry Potter book is released.

No matter what happens, the world will be in mourning July 21 since Harry Potter does indeed die-no matter what Rowling has written. It is her last Harry Potter book, and thus the end of Harry Potter. Death, even fictional deaths, can come in many forms. All we can do is hope she changes her mind.

Sources:
J. K. Rowling's Official Site
Lambert, Nicole. The Daily Mail. "Rowling: 'I may kill off Harry Potter'"