Sports Briefs: Causing a Racket at Wimbledon

Chris: In addition to playing catch, playing basketball and working up a sweat in Tic-Tac-Toe, I have long enjoyed playing tennis to the point where my hands are covered in particle residue from the cushion on my racket handle. Tennis is a highly pleasurable sport, and when it comes to watching the Grand Slam events, including Wimbledon, I have found nothing to hold my (as Mike Tyson would say) "tention pan."

Joe: I always watch the Major tournaments competition. The greatest thing about Major events in British sports--tennis and golf, is that they are telecast live in the US so one can enjoy them early in the morning. The competition is always top rate, but watching for breakfast is especially delicious.

Chris: Since Roger Federer was ousted before the final, do the tournament organizers send him home with a doggie bag of strawberries and cream? Or is it crÆ'¨me? And is it whipped cream or more like milk?

Ralphie: I really do not care to watch tennis.It is not very interesting to watch.

Chris: I blame Pete Sampras.

Joe: I haven't played tennis for over 40 years, but I still like watching the best in the world compete, and when a rising star goes toe-to-toe with the best, it's even more exciting.

Ralphie: It's what the players are working for all season. It is their goal, what makes them the best.

Chris: Having a charismatic American male tennis player is something the sport has been aching for ever since Kirsten Dunst's English suitor beat her American suitor for the rights to her, the Wimbledon trophy and a Green Card in 2004. In fact, the last American male to win Wimbledon was Sampras in 2000, in a pulsating match televised in between debates on C-SPAN. Has it ever been explained why the men's champion receives a trophy and the women's champion receives a platter large enough to serve multiple choices of deli meat on?

Ralphie: I think they are both equal. One is really not more important than the other.

Joe: I like men's tennis for the competition and speed of the game. I like women's tennis for the short skirts.

Chris: Playing tennis has always been a clever representation to cite for those wanting to exercise while avoid mowing the lawn. Why the strathspey (I just said "strathspey") of playing tennis does not translate to the utter fixation of watching tennis, playing fantasy tennis, painting one's chest and tailgating next to the Royal Family at Wimbledon, I am unsure.

Ralphie: I love to play, but it really doesn't change my opinion on watching it. Maybe if I played tennis on a team I would follow it more but I'm not sure.

Joe: The only thing that would cause me to be more interested in tennis is if I was less interested in golf.