Sports Briefs: The Day Brett Favre and the Giant Cheese Sticks Came to My Town

During a Sunday School class a couple years ago, I participated in a game of lies.

I was supposed to tell two truths and one lie about myself, and my classmates were supposed to guess which statement was a falsification.

Being new to the class, I thought it would behoove me to reveal something funny/embarrassing about myself, so my three sentences were: "I once stole from a church (felt farm animals)," along with "I've written a book" and some dastardly lie.

Rather than reading the sentences ourselves, the teacher insisted on reading everyone's, while the rest of the class was forced to guess who wrote what. And, of course, the teacher had trouble reading mine and was confused by the introduction of parenthesis.

He began sweating as he read "I once stole from the church," before stumbling across "I once felt up farm animals." At this point he was looking noticeably shaken, as the rest of the class glanced around the room in horror, believing there to be a pervert and thief in their midst.

"Uh, let's move on to another one," he said, clearly contemplating turning in my sentences to the authorities from PETA.

I didn't attend the class again.

A sporting world equivalent of said exercise would be this: No. 1: "Brett Favre visited Waco, Texas, this past week." No. 2: "Kobe Bryant has never publicly admitted to cannibalism." And No. 3: "I eat bananas with my feet."

As is often the case, being the sleuth journalist that I am, I discovered that Favre did, in fact, visit my town, Waco, on Saturday. Of course, I was able to ascertain this information two days after it occurred and had been publicized in the newspaper, on the Internet and on TV.

Clearly, this is a valid reason to watch more TV, a reason I will take to heart.

Favre was in Waco to promote the pre-grand opening of the first fitness, sports skills and life training center for youngerts in the country. Young Champions is the name of Favre's business venture, and it's also what he was when he won a Super Bowl 10 years ago.

The quarterback and Kent Johnston, his former strength and conditioning coach with the Green Bay Packers, are co-owners. Johnston is from nearby Mexia, Texas, which is pronounced "Ma-hay-yah," as opposed to "Mex-ee-ah," as I called it for half of my life. Let's move on.

Favre attended the celebration on Saturday, signing autographs for two hours, amidst a throng of people wearing green and yellow.

The only way to distinguish the fans from supporting Baylor or the Packers was the fact that the Packer fans were wearing lumps of dairy products on their heads.

Favre serves as the company's spokesman for now and plans on becoming more active with Young Champions after he retires. This implies that football is time-consuming. That would be a true statement.

Coincidentally, of my three statements, sentence No. 3 was false, while sentence No. 2 is true. Bryant has never admitted to cannibalism, but he may have never witnessed humans dressed as giant cheese sticks before.