Spousal Abuse Includes Far More Than Hitting

I've recently had two abused wives come to me for therapy. Neither of them see themselves as abused. The reason is that their spouse is not hitting them. Or at least hardly ever hits them. But abuse is far more then hitting. Here are some of the important signs to know if you are living with an abuser.

HE CONTROLS ALL THE MONEY- You are given the least amount of money that you may need and have to account for every cent. Even if you work your money goes to him. Or, he makes sure all your money is spent on bills or food so that you never have access to any funds.

HE REFUSES TO LET YOU SEE YOUR FAMILY - He most likely does not get along with your family and does not want you to see them or speak to them.

HE CHECKS YOUR CELL PHONE OFTEN - He wants to know every call you have made or gotten. He checks your texts and tell you who you can talk to and who you can't. He may take your phone away to 'punish' you.

HE CONSTANTLY TELLS YOU THAT YOU WOULD NEVER SUCCEED WITHOUT HIM - Your self-esteem is terrible because he belittles you so much. You are constantly trying to do better and please him but no matter what you do it just isn't good enough.

HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO GO ANYWHERE WITH ANYONE EXCEPT HIM - If you are not at work you are expected to come directly home. You have no friends and only go places with him. You rarely, if ever, have friends over. And of you do they are his friends.

SEX IS FOR HIS SATISFACTION - NOT YOURS - He may hurt you in bed, tell you what a terrible lover you are, criticize your body, and may even feel he has a right to have affairs.

HE HAS REFUSED TO HAVE CHILDREN - He wants you all to himself and having children is out of the question.

THOUGH HE MAY RARELY HIT YOU HE HURTS YOU IN OTHER WAYS - This could be anything. Your husband should not hurt you in any way. If he does, it's abuse.

You may be experiencing some or all of the above. Abusers are controlling, selfish, and mean. Don't think that all relationships are like that. If you live in fear, if you are in pain, if you have been denied freedom, or if your health and well being is not being taken care of, you are an abused spouse.

Get help to get out.