Stairway To a Woman's Heart

The last woman who thought I was "the perfect guy," didn't really know me. We worked together for years, in fact. She knew one side of me. She knew the shadow that everyone sees. I thought she was attracted to an illusion. I found the stairway leading to this woman's heart. Now I'm going to let you in on some of the more crucial secrets I used.

I let her believe the things she saw, but I never lied to her. Because of that, I now have a wonderful relationship with a great person. Before we hooked up she had no trouble getting men. She did however have trouble getting men to respect her. That was where I came in.

Now, she never exactly referred to me as "the perfect guy" to my face. I received that information from a very reliable source. In fact, it was kitchen gossip. My source was female, attractive, someone I thought very highly of, and another workmate. When the information was relayed to me, I knew right away that to let this opportunity pass me by was to squash my own manhood.

I took the valuable information to heart. As a realist, I know there is no such thing as "the perfect guy." However, this was the key to the universe. I had the chance to win a woman's heart with little effort, and no dishonest scheming.

Now I'll tell you how I was able to turn a friendly relationship, into a more fulfilling one. I never played myself up, but I allowed her to hold to that less than truthful presumption. This wasn't dishonesty. Love often works this way. As humans we are prone to viewing "that special someone" in a false light. We'll automatically see them, as we want them to be, until they shatter that perfect image by doing something dim-witted. Her preconceptions were a blessing. All I had to do was refrain from doing anything dim-witted.

I was accustomed to showing people a very presentable side of myself. It was the part of me I took into public, but only a part of me. I never let her see anything but the polite and thoughtful side of me. Sometimes I was playfully sarcastic, but never anything more aggressive than that. I figured she was tired of fooling around with disrespectful losers. If I wanted this to work, I couldn't be like them.

I never shouted at women. I was never threatening. I wanted them to feel safe around me. Thus, women gossiped around me, they told me things they would usually only tell other women. When I was around women I left my ugly side at home, in the trash. When a woman sees that a man can accept anything with a calm face, she often recognizes strength. Strength is usually very appealing to women. It was a plus that all the women, young and old, that we worked with saw me in a similar light. They trusted me, and felt safe around me.

That I chose to pay more than the regular attention to this particular woman in question made her feel all the more special. She figured I was "the perfect guy," but she had suffered one failed relationship after another. After one date she told me, "Had any other guy asked me out, I would have taken several days to think it over, before responding." She was glad that I was the next person to approach her.

She was actually nervous about impressing me! In reality, she had nothing to worry about. I was impressed with her the first time I laid eyes on her. I just never thought I had a chance. Now I knew things were about to get serious. At this point I was in a bit of a fix. I think because of her preconceptions, she was now more confident than I was. I knew I wasn't "the perfect guy". Chances were, somewhere down the line I was going to do something dim-witted.

I made plans for our next date. I vowed not to ruin this.

Note, I was now making a conscious effort to be the type of person she wanted me to be. I was making an effort to be a better person than I thought I was. I didn't go out of my to shower her with gifts I couldn't afford. I wasn't going to try and impress her by looking for a new car. Why would I do those things? She already thought I was perfect. All I had to do was keep things that way.

It was clear; the only way I could remain perfect in her eyes, was to slowly introduce her to the full man. Remain perfect by admitting to imperfections and shortcomings? Most people would think, "That doesn't make any sense!" Oh but it does, most guys probably don't think like I do. That was why I was going to succeed with this gorgeous female where others had failed.

There was no way I could fool someone into indefinitely perceiving me as perfect. One perfect date was enough. I had to ground her in reality now. I would maintain my perfection by showing her my very human side.

Well, this, I think, was when I became more than "the perfect guy".

I became the perfect guy for her. During our next couple dates, I dropped hints about pet peeves that I have. That way she would begin to recognize that I was a normal person, who is often annoyed by other people. I made sure not to point out a specific quirk that she seemed to display. I wasn't trying to embarrass her. I just wanted her to know I was a regular guy. So I chose a random pet peeve.

Now, I didn't go overboard with this. I tried to disclose one pet peeve a week. During the date we would laugh about them, and she would get to know me better all at the same time. I realized that we were having a good time getting to know each other. Because I worked with her, and I was often a confidant before we ever hooked up, I knew some of her pet peeves already. There were, however, things I didn't know about. She shared those with me.

I think she began to see me as more of a down to earth person. She realized that she could still be attracted to a regular imperfect gentleman. I learned that I didn't have to try very hard to be extra nice to her, or anyone else. She made me happy, I was enjoying life a lot more, and still am today. It was easy to show my more presentable side all the time.

I've learned that first impressions count for so much. Usually your partner will be trying so hard to live up to being worthy of her impression of you, she won't even recognize your minor faults right away. That is why people date, after all. We need to find out whether we can live with a certain person, or not. That doesn't mean we should advertise all our faults at one time. That would probably be disastrous.

The most important thing to remember is that women are people like everyone else. They will be working hard to conceal less than notable qualities on a first date, just like you will. If you are not compatible, don't leave her with a bad taste in her mouth. There is nothing less appealing than a brutish egomaniac. I think all women would agree on that, so we men wouldn't want that sort of rep to get around about us.