Star Wars: The Clone Wars Review

I love Star Wars. And, while this will make some fans shudder, I actually liked the prequels. They were action-packed, and full of impressive visuals and sound effects. It was cool to see Coruscant during the waning days of the Old Republic, and Palpatine's Machiavellian rise to power. Many viewers complain of less-than-satisfying acting and dialogue in the prequels, as well as strange plot points, such as Midi-Chlorians, and Jar-Jar Binks, and the infamous "Nooooooooooooo!" heard 'round the galaxy. To this I can only point out that writing sequels (and prequels) is a tricky endeavor; one is faced with the challenge of making the story different enough that it isn't "more of the same," yet not so different that fans experience culture shock.

I have my own theory on why many, usually older, fans disliked the prequels so much. We live in a society where people tend to idealize the eras that they grew up in. And the feel of the prequel trilogy is different from that of the original trilogy of the late 1970s and early 80s, of which so many fans have fond memories. As for me, I was only a tot when the original films came out, and didn't really get into them until late-middle to early-high school. I have my own memories of seeing the new ones (the day they opened, in the case of Episodes II and III) thus bringing small rays of enjoyment into three hot summers that were otherwise dominated by insufferable summer school classes.

I digress. Clone Wars is technically the seventh Star Wars film to see theatrical release. It is computer animated, and takes place between episodes II and III, in the heat of the war between the Republic and the Separatists, in which all players eventually prove to be pawns. The film seems to be tied to the strange Clone Wars animated series, which I rented a couple seasons of, but was never entirely able to get into.

The film starts with a narrated news bulletin in place of the customary crawling text. It is announced that Jabba the Hutt's son has been kidnapped. Jabba sends a plea for help to the Republic government. Palpatine resolves to offer aid, explaining that Republic forces need access to the Hutt-Controlled space lanes in the Outer Rim to gain an edge in the war. Apparently, the only available Jedi are Anakin and Obi-Wan, who are engaged in a ground battle, and cannot be reached. The Jedi Council dispatches a messenger with their new orders.

The action begins in the midst of a battle on the world of Christophsis, where Anakin, Obi-Wan, and the clone troopers are up to their usual mayhem. After beating back the Separatists, led by a warthog-looking guy with a Scottish accent, the messenger, Ahsoka, arrives. She is a cocky, reckless young girl, who makes the surprise announcement that she is to be Anakin's Padawan, by order of the Council. She and Anakin work together - while clashing and bantering - for the duration of the film. The pair is able to turn the tide of the Christophsis battle, and they set off for the planet Teth, where Jabba's son is being held, while Obi-Wan departs for Tattooine, to negotiate with Jabba.

It turns out - huge surprise - Jabba's son is actually being held by the Separatists. Anakin and Ahsoka are able to rescue the little creature, who looks like Slimer and is affectionately referred to as "Stinky." But this turns out to be part of the Separatist's plan. Count Dooku's apprentice, the creepy bald Sith chick named Asajj Ventress, records the Jedi with "Stinky," and Dooku reveals this "evidence" to Jabba, suggesting that the kidnapping was a Republic plot. As the Jedi escape with "Stinky" on an old freighter, Dooku tells Jabba that the Jedi have killed his son. The remainder of the film focuses on Anakin and Ahsoka's quest to reunite the Hutt family on Tattooine, while faced with Dooku's forces and an enraged Jabba. While there is a little more to the story in terms of action and politics, that's the crux of it.

Setting the new Star Wars film during the Clone War era was a risky move, due to peoples' aforementioned dislike for the prequel trilogy. Associating it with the Clone Wars cartoon was riskier still, as the show was comprised of very brief, stark vignettes that seemed more concerned with being artsy than they were about proper storytelling. I realized that the Clone Wars raged on for a few years, but I think the scenes from Episodes II and III were sufficient to give a feel for the battles. Since I never cared that much for Count Dooku, or General Grievous (who does not appear in this film), or the Trade Federation, I would much rather have seen other Star Wars events from other time periods.

As it stands, Clone Wars' plot is simplistic and not all that exciting. They seem to have really trumped up Jabba the Hutt's influence, in the galactic scheme of things. They also trumped up the stupidity of the Battle Droids, to the point of Saturday Morning slapstick, which didn't do much for the film. The same holds true for the constant, back-and-forth quips between Anakin and Ahsoka; one-liners do not equal good screenwriting. The new characters, including Ahsoka and Jabba's sexually ambiguous Southerner uncle Ziro, weren't that compelling, and just felt like they were tossed in for novelty's sake. And many of the returning characters, like Padme and C-3PO, had very minor cameo roles. There were a few chances for character development that the film pretty much blew off. I'd say that the coolest scenes in this film overall were of the badass clone commanders beating droids down in hand-to-hand combat. It wasn't that bad of a movie, it just wasn't that good. There were no memorable "wow" moments that compare to the Darth Maul duel, or Yoda fighting Dooku, or the Battles of Geonosis or Coruscant.

It should be noted that this film has a strange visual quality to it. The creators seem to have taken the bizarre, avant-garde look of the animated show, and translated it into three-dimensional CGI character models. The results are frankly a little creepy, as characters tend to have large eyes, elongated features, and spindly limbs. Everything looks pretty slick and colorful, like a video game cutscene. I personally didn't care for the weirdness of the film's look, but hey, to each his own.

I felt similarly about Clone Wars' sound department. The blaster fire, and ship flybys, and explosions were all fine. However, it seems utterly unspeakable to me that they would release a Star Wars film scored by someone other than the legendary John Williams. The music was instead written by a guy named Kevin Kiner. The soundtrack is an interesting mix of brassy choral pieces, some seemingly Asian-inspired music, and even a tune that sounds like Jazz. It's not a bad mix by any means, but the film seems to be crying out for the familiar Star Wars music that Kiner used only the barest hints and snippets of. The only actors who reprised their roles for the voices in this film were Anthony Daniels (C-3PO), Samuel L. Jackson (Mace Windu), and Christopher Lee (Count Dooku). All other parts were played by sound-alike voice actors. They did an admirable job, on the whole, but I really missed hearing Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine, Frank Oz as Yoda, and Temuera Morrison as the clones.

I'll put the big question in the tritest Star Wars clichés I can muster: Is the Force strong with Clone Wars, or is it a steaming pile of Bantha Poodoo? In all honesty, I didn't feel that strongly one way or the other, but I'd probably have to rank it more on the "Poodoo" side; it had an odd, direct-to-video quality, and is ultimately a fairly weak entry in the Star Wars mythos. The fact that they couldn't get most of the original cast or the long-time composer to return for the project speaks volumes. The story didn't hold my interest. I wished they had shown what was going on with other Jedi on other planets. I didn't like the visual style. And I found most of the attempts at humor to be flat and childish. Check this one out if you're a Star Wars nerd like me, but don't expect the production values or fun of the other six films. And if you didn't like the prequels, then don't bother; you probably won't be able to sit thorough this one.