Star Wars Films to Receive 3D Re-Release

As long as I have heard of him, filmmaker George Lucas one made one series of films in his career: the Star Wars franchise. And out of the six films, various cartoon series, spin-off films, and even one giant CG animation film fest that felt like a really long video game cut scene, only the first two films of Star Wars was any good. Fortunately for George Lucas, in lieu of doing some actual innovative work he happens to be master of the re-release button that allows him to constantly "update" his film franchise and re-release it so that old fans will watch it on the big screen again while young fans can see it for the first time and wonder what the old fans are talking about when they yell that Han shot first.

Well, now George Lucas announced his plans to re-release Star Wars yet again and this time in 3D. The first to receive the 3D upgrade is oddly enough the fourth Star Wars film produced the easily forgettable The Phantom Menace. George Lucas states that he was waiting until there were enough 3D theater screens around before planning this new "innovation." There is not even that much pretense to this attempt at innovation. Now he is just piggybacking along with this new 3D fad that successful films like Avatar already paved the way for 3D. And with the premium charge of around $3 for the 3D glasses, this re-release of Star Wars is simple enough to define with one word: KA-CHING!

True, the 3D treatment may make a few scenes pop like the Death Star trench run or the flying R2D2 or even Luke Skywalker's arm getting sliced off. But these are just scenes receiving improvement. The film will still be the same. There is no way that 3D can convey the climatic film changing moment when the dark evil monstrosity Darth Vader turned out to be the heroic Luke Skywalker's father-spoiler alert. Added scenes like the slithering Jabba and Greedo getting the first shot already diminished the film's oomph when they were introduced.

What George Lucas has failed to grasp is that 3D, while occasionally visually impressive when it does not induce headaches or self-conscious feelings of looking like a nerd, is not an instant "make the movie better" button-unless the film is Avatar.

Suddenly I feel like watching that South Park episode where the boys tackle George Lucas and Steven Spielberg and their constant need to remake their films.