Star Wars: Why C3PO is the Most Annoyingly Useless Character Ever

Jar Jar Binks is the most annoying resident of Star Wars? He's the most useless character ever to play in the science fiction sandbox of George Lucas?

I respectfully beg to differ.

We angrily point a collective fanboy finger at JJ Binks. He jibbers around like a clown driving those over 9 years old nuts and whose primary reason for being was giving the digital divas of Industrial Light & Magic, a creative challenge or to sell more Happy Meal toys at McDonald's. Do they even sell Happy Meals at Mickey D's anymore? Anyway, at least Jar Jar's people fight alongside you in a pinch.

It's white, clean and neat to march the rubbery rube up and crown him with a dunce cap. But not so fast! I submit a character so useless he's not even alive. My vote for the most disposable character in Star Wars? C3PO.

Goldfinger? Goldmember? Gold Moron?

This stiff inept collections of bolts and faulty circuits gets credit for important events in Star Wars like a Jawa on a twilight hunt for five fingered tech discounts. Face it. This blabbering boob simply shows up. What really gets me is the slick way he passes off his uselessness onto one of the more useful Star Wars characters - R2D2.

"It must be your fault R2D2." Blah blah. This sad excuse for a droid projects his own incompetence onto our favorite bullet shaped bot. Can C3PO shut down garbage compactors to prevent certain death? Did C3PO deliver Princess Leia's hologram to Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker, thereby enlisting them to destroy the Death Star? No and no!

Remember when jolly Jabba took possession of Luke's droids falling for Skywalker's plan to free the carbonized Han Solo? He promptly made R2D2 into a drink server. What of C3PO? He served as a protocol droid. His big moment came when he spoke to a disguised Princess Leia. What happened to Leia? She became a half naked slave to jiggly Jabba's perverted little hippie commune. Bozo C3PO strikes again!

Han Solo was a man of sharp instincts and an all around excellent judge of character. Did he like C3PO? Nope. He always shut up the nerdy droid, much to my pleasure. In Empire Strikes Back, I loved when Chewbacca had to reassemble C3PO after the gold goof was blown apart by a blaster. Man, how I wish that hairy mechanical genius had scrapped 3PO's banana colored butt for a profit.

C3PO was built by Luke's Dad - Anakin Skywalker. We all know the path Anakin took. Hiss. Hiss. Any tin tinker toy slapped together by a kid during his traumatic formative years of becoming the galaxy's most evil villain should be avoided at all costs.

Boba Fett should take C3PO out for any bounty offered. I'll gladly watch you scream in agony on the scrap heap.