Starbucks Coffee Dark Chocolate Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino Bottled Drink: Review

I'm not a huge fan of Starbucks. Paying $3 or $4 for mediocre coffee doesn't do much for me. But in the summer, I will admit that I enjoy myself a Mocha Frappuccino from the coffee conglomerate. The drink, a bit like a coffee milkshake or daquiri, is a mixture of ice, coffee, milk, and chocolate. The sweetness of the chocolate helps combat the often bitter taste of Starbucks regular brew, and the coffee and sugar provides a nice, fattening pick me up.

Starbucks, realizing a potential of sucking even more money out of our pockets, decided to create a line of bottled Frappuccino drinks to capitalize on their popular beverage. Unlike the counterpart in the store, the bottled Frappuccino is not frozen, but served chilled in 9.5 ounce glass bottles. I've had both the vanilla and mocha flavors, and while neither is close to the taste of the Frozen Frappuccino, they do offer a nice, expensive jolt of coffee with hints of vanilla and chocolate.

While grocery shopping last week, I came upon limited edition Starbucks Coffee Dark Chocolate Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino drinks in a 4 pack for $5. If the vanilla and mocha were okay, surely something that combined mint, dark chocolate, and coffee would be even better.

I vigorously shook the first bottle to knock the sludge off the bottom and mix the ingredients around. I then cracked the plastic seal and popped the top off the drink. The drink had a pleasant minty aroma, not unlike an after dinner mint. The drink itself was a bit gritty looking, more watery than milky. I shook it a bit more, then took a swig and.......

Imagine making coffee. Imagine taking that coffee and letting it sit in the pot until it cooled. Imagine getting some Mylanta out of the medicine cabinet and dropping a teaspoon into the coffee with some Nesqwik and stirring it around. Now imagine drinking it. You've just experienced the unique taste of the Starbucks Coffee Dark Chocolate Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino.

In short, the stuff is awful. The mint flavor overpowers the entire drink. And it's not a good mint. It's an artificial tasting flavor not aided at all by the slightly pasty feel it leaves in your mouth. There is little hint of chocolate, let alone dark chocolate, and almost no aroma or taste of coffee. After you swallow, you're left with a pasty, chalky and sickeningly sweet aftertaste in your mouth that will make you feel like you just drank a new medicine codeveloped by Folgers and Rolaids. Just out of curiousity, and my endless need for self-abuse, I decided to try the drink after it had sat on the counter for about an hour. Oddly, the Dark Chocolate Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino tastes a little better after it has reached room temperature. Not enough to continue drinking, but enough to notice.

In short, this is one limited edition that deserves to stay that way. Truly bad.

Nutritional Information:

200 Calories
3.5 Grams of Fat
15 mg Cholesterol
7g Protein

Ingredients:

Starbucks Coffee, Reduced Fat Milk, Sugar, Skim Milk, Maltodextrin, Cream, Caramel Color, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Cocoa, Pectin, Ascorbic Acid