Starbucks Scam: How to Get Free Coffee

These are tough economic times. Everyday you hear about how many billions of dollars are spent but, just like everyone, you're thinking: Where's my personal bail out? Well, Associated Content has you covered.

The "Latte Factor" has hit Americans hard and they have cut out such luxuries like Starbucks out of their budget. Not the writers and readers of AC! We are drinking Pumpkin Spice/Nutmeg/Sugar injected genius by the gallon.... for free! Here's how you can too! Just follow the steps and use the following script and you'll never pay $5.00 for a cup of coffee again! All you need is a co-worker/buffoon's money and you are set to go.

1. Offer to go on a Starbucks run. Your office will scream like monkeys that you are offering to be their bitch. Take all their money for their ridiculous orders and leave. Be sure to take a long time on the company's dime. Bring no money of your own.

2. Place your order.

3. Take your drinks back to the car.

4. Grab an empty Starbucks cup you took out of the break room trash can.

5. Fill it to the brim with Sprite.

6. Walk back inside and go back to the employee who handed you your order and use the following script.

You: Excuse me, this drink was not made right.

Starbucks Slave: What did you order?

You: Just a grande latte with soy and an extra shot.

Starbucks Slave: And what did you get?

You: Sprite.

Starbucks Slave: Come again?

You: Sprite. A grande cup of Sprite. Are You F---ing Kidding Me? This sh** doesn't even have caffeine. If you going to give me a carbonated beverage, at least hook me up with a Dr. Pibb.

Starbucks Slave: Sir, that's impossible. I made the drink myself and besides, we don't even sell Sprite.

YOU CAN THEN CHOOSE FROM THE FOLLOWING REACTIONS:

A. I get it! I'm on some hidden camera show! Maybe that new one with that no talent ass-clown Howie Mandel! By the hair of Thor...., finally my 15 minutes of fame!

(Begin waving your hands at the security camera, strike many poses, dance a bit.)

B. You don't sell Sprite yet here it is... (Peer into the cup inquisitively, squint, and then address the other customers at high volume) People! It's a miracle. We have found our savior! Like Jesus turned water to wine, this man turns java into Sprite! Hallelujah!

(Dancing is also acceptable with this choice)

Starbucks Slave: Sir, sorry for the mistake. What did you order again?

And there you have it. A free cup of coffee. The fact that you have presented a barista with a cup of Sprite will melt their minds. Bring your co-workers their overpriced crap back while you sip on freedom. Be sure to yell "Shenanigans!" when you head out the door