Stark Janus/Janus Stark

She was named Janus. Like the nines not like the singer. Named in honor of her two faced father, her mother had always said. Janus Stark. Stark Janus. Her father had in fact been named Aubrey but her mother would insist that he was undeserving of any sort of reference that didn't begin with "that rat bastard..." Irrelevant anyway, he had been gone for awhile. Now so was she.

Sitting with her legs through the rails, Janus could imagine her bones and tendons elongating, skin and muscles stretching until she could dip the tips of her bare toes into the salty water hundreds of feet below. In the back of her brain she knew that anything that dangled, or more importantly, anything that fell from the top of her lighthouse would not reach water. Things that fell from the lighthouse would meet the rocks that flanked the base of the building and would maybe bounce or roll to the sea eventually, long past the point of feeling the delicious foamy ocean spray. Janus suspected (in the back of her brain) that most of the people who had "fallen" from the topmost landing were past the point of feeling the spray long before they sailed over the rail. Janus Stark had never really liked the back of her brain very much.

Her mother had always said that she thought to much with the front of her brain, where fancies could drift in and out at will, without the need for solid fact. In the front of her brain she was Stark Janus. In the front of her brain she might just be able to reach the ocean with her pale pink toenails. Janus sighed and looked over the lovely ocean trying to decide her next practical move, this was difficult with Stark Janus trying to slip her into a daydream. Daydreaming was only permissible when you knew you were safely guarded, Janus was not. Somewhere they were lurking, secretly claiming her as their own, each with a different motive.

The claim that pressed on her most heavily was that of Uncle James. Mother had always watched Janus very closely when James was around. He smelled of cheap cologne and unwashed sweat most of the time; and he made Janus think of oily creatures when he was around. Janus had suspected, even as a small child, that something was off about him but it wasn't confirmed until she had turned twelve and her mother warned her never to find herself alone with James or risk the consequences. For James, his sister's death was a stroke of fortune, Janus was almost too old at fifteen to suit his tastes. Almost.

Swinging her feet and staring into space was not going to help Janus Stark even as it allowed Stark Janus to contemplate the freedom that must be afforded to those who would fly. What a lovely contemplation. To fly, to search, to find. To find. To find Aubrey. That would be a lovely find indeed. Janus Stark started suddenly and rewound the wanderings of Stark Janus. Aubrey! She did have one avenue of escape from James! Gone awhile but perhaps not gone forever, Aubrey could save her, maybe he could fix it all and she could stay in her lighthouse forever. Always she had planned to live and die in her lighthouse, this could be her chance.

Stark Janus was trying to nudge her way back, she had really started to enjoy the idea of flying and had begun to weigh its pros and cons without Janus Stark even realizing it. Rising to her feet with new gusto Janus Stark started a mental checklist to begin her search. Stark Janus looked longingly at the open air beyond the railing. Racing down the spiral staircase to her own room she knew time was running short. She needed to find Aubrey quickly and convince him that he was needed at home. "Convince?" Stark Janus whispered with despair. They paused on the stairs as Janus Stark processed this thought.

"What if he can't be convinced?" Stark Janus trembled.

"He will come when he knows we need him." Janus Stark tried to inject some conviction to her voice.

Stark Janus whispered again. "Mother said he was a rat bastard. He left us alone." With their hand on bedroom doorknob, Janus Stark wavered and Stark Janus pushed her argument. "What if we waste time looking for him and he won't come? James will have us in a matter of days."

Stark Janus's voice became wheedling. "We've always wanted to fly you know. Even if the Rat Bastard showed up, we would still want too. Probably won't be able to find him anyway..."

Janus Stark looked at their hand on the knob and then back up the stairs. Her grip loosened as she turned. The stairs were very close. Aubrey would probably take a long time to find even if he were willing to come home. Uncle James wouldn't wait that long. After Uncle James, Janus wouldn't be able to appreciate the lovely spritz from the ocean when she was finally ready to fly. Janus wanted to delight in the air rushing past her face, to see the sunlight through her closed eyelids, and to feel the cool; soothing saltwater envelop her tenderly... protectively. She drifted up the stairs with Stark Janus murmuring reassurances to her. Today the weather was perfect for flying.