Starting and Running a Home Business: Ignore & Listen to Everyone

This may be one of the most confusing things I will tell you to do. Listen to everyone but ignore them. When running a business one has to have a thick skin and take everything with a grain of salt. This is because there are three main types of people you will be dealing with; supporters, non-supporters and your clients/customers.

The concept behind this idea is that we need to listen to what everyone tells us. We need to understand their view. This does not mean we have to agree with their views or even bend over backwards to make them happy at our own expense. It just means we need to be open to what others have to say no matter what it is they are saying. When you have your own vision it will be in your hands and your hands only to succeed or fail.

One of the most needed elements of business is feedback. Many businesses fail because they do not receive feedback, nor ask for it. There are other businesses that fail because they do not listen to the feedback when it is given. Many businesses spend thousands of dollars trying to collect feedback from its customers. This means that any feedback received is saving the business owners money. Good, bad, and/or indifferent it is important to know what your customers are thinking.

The main bit of feedback received is the bit that informs the business owner of the consumer's misconceptions of what it is you do. I have a friend who is a private massage therapist. One night she and her husband were visiting some friends. One of the friends started complaining about a sore back and she offered to check his back. His wife was shocked by the offer and questioned that it was done with everyone there including the kids. When my friend finished the massage and checking his back he had to question if that was what a massage really was. Both he and his wife were under the misconceptions of what a massage is, and part of this may be from Hollywood's interpretation of massage being a sexual act instead of a physical reconditioning.

Three things came out of this event for my friend. One, she gained feedback from the public. This feedback identified a common misconception some people have concerning her business. Second she was able to education and inform them of what it is she does and alleviate any negative thoughts they may have had beforehand. Lastly and most importantly she changed the views of two non-supporters into two supporters and possible new clients.

One never knows when feedback is going to arrive and/or in what vehicle it will be in. The most difficult type is always from the views of the negative non-supporters. These are the highest in numbers and have the ability to break the moral of even the strongest of people. However we have to remember, we are just people but business owners and we have a higher desire and will to fight through this type of feedback.

The most common phrases of negative feedback include but and not limited to 'you will never succeed', 'you have no idea what you are doing', 'are you daft/stupid' and my most favorite 'what makes you think are better than everyone else'. Which if you notice are all personal attacks. The thing about being a business owner is to have the ability to separate personal and business feelings. When non-supporters use these types of negative feedback it is only natural to take it personally, though we have to say, it is not 'I' but it is a 'Business'. Because the only way you succeed is if the business succeeds.

However, it is important to hear these types of negative feedback because it lets us known the mindset of the speaker. This in my experience comes from those we thought of as friends and/or family. With this aspect of where it is coming from makes it more difficult to take, though it will allow us to grow stronger as business owners and really prove that we are willing to stand up and succeed in our business through the doubts of others.

There are three types of reactions a person may have when they hear negative feedback. Some shrug it off and keep doing whatever it is they are doing. These types of business barely stay afloat and find it difficult to grow past a certain level. Their inability to listen to the feedback stalls their ability to adapt and change as a business does when it grows. However their ability to allow the negativity to roll off is good, one still has to take note.

There is another type of response with negative feedback and that is to collapse. We hope that none of us are within this category, however it happens. Especially with close friends and family being the ones delivering the negative feedback. This lowers one's self esteem and creates mountains of self doubt. One thinks that if friends and family do not believe in them, what chance to they have? Here are a few examples of being told that one wouldn't succeed, and they did.

In 1944, the Director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency in Hollywood, told a young girl who wanted to become a Model and Actress, "You'd better learn secretarial work or get married. You don't have 'the look' or the talent for this business." The young girl named Norma Jean Baker did not give up and went on to be known as Marilyn Monroe.

In 1954, the Manager of the Grand Ole Opry fired a young Singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." This singer continued with his dream and became known far and wide for his singing and acting, this young man was named Elvis Presley.

In 1962, four young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca Recording Company. The executives were not impressed. The group was turned down and one executive said, "We don't like your sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." This group continued to work and was later known as The Beatles.

There are many stories like these of people being told they could not do something or be something they wanted. Even the original Microsoft program was turned down by a major computer company before becoming known and used worldwide. There are always going to be people out there that say you or what you do is not good enough. Though, if you want it bad enough you will achieve it.

This leads me to constructive criticisms. It is incredibly important to take criticism as constructive. This allows us to see the remarks as being less than negative and more helpful in nature. It is a trick to maintain a thicker skin and not take every negative comment personally. We have to understand that there are different types of people and different ways in which they voice their opinions. Some people may be shy and timid, where others are often loud and brash. We traditionally take offence at the person who is loud and brash because the tone alone makes the comment appear more negative than it really is. For this, we need to tell ourselves it is only constructive criticism.

I once new an artist who took every comment about her work as being a personal attack. She would become very agitated and defensive about her work. She would aggressively state that she 'knew' what was wrong already and that she didn't fix it because of one reason or another. By doing this she started pushing her clients away. Consumers do not care to deal with negativity or aggressive businesses. Her constant inability to take any type of criticism created a vacuum that sucked her business into oblivion. When this was happening, and her business was failing she still became very defensive and badmouthed her consumer base because 'they' didn't know good art.

In this type of situation, where she refused to admit she was in the wrong, she lost her business and the consumers moved to another business. That is one key item to remember about how you handle what people tell you. You, as a business 'NEED' the consumers. They don't need you. They can always find what they are looking for somewhere else. It is not so easy for you to find a whole new consumer base.

Get the customers on your side. Without them you are out.