State Made Poor : Part 2

When I wrote part 1, I wanted to give you an idea of some of the things we have struggled with. Part 2 is to explain that we don't want to be rich, we just want to be able to be with our kids and live normal lives, in a normal home. We are not wanting something for nothing. We simply need the opportunity to prosper, and improve our quality of life. It's hard to accept the fact that we will never own a home, we will never buy our children's first car, and we won't be able to send out children to college. When we pass away, there will be nothing to leave our children. We will die in a nursing home, instead of in our own beds. Our kids have missed out on many things because we couldn't afford to pay for it. For example, school pictures, school field trips, and scholastic book orders etc. They have missed out on having birthday parties, because we never had the money to buy them a gift, and throw them a party too.
When workers comp set Franks pay based on HUD rent cost, and budget cost utilities, it makes it impossible for us to afford regular rent rates, and normal utilities rates. We are stuck between a rock and a hard place with no way up or down. We don't qualify for food stamps because our income is workers comp, not disability. We don't qualify for housing assistance because they say our income exceeds the limit. We have to pay sales tax, taxes on our only vehicle, and we have to raise 2 children on our income, and can't even file taxes at the end of the year. That's how a lot of people survive. They depend on the taxes they get back at the end of the year to catch up on what they've fell behind on. We are always behind because we don't get to file taxes. Our children aren't like other children, they don't have expensive game systems and games to play, they've never had a bicycle, they don't even have new clothes, they wear hand-me-downs from salvation army.
People don't understand. Neither of us can work, therefore,we have no means of earning a little extra income at the holidays to buy for our kids, or for each other. Frank will never work again, he can't go fishing, hiking, and he can't do most of the normal activities most people can do, that most people take for granted. He can't even get dressed or bath on his own. Me on the other hand, I could go back to work if I could get my anxiety issues fixed. I don't want you to think I'm to sorry to work because that's not true. If I had a doctor that cared more about me, than his pay check, I would have my medication, and I would be able to go back to work. I would be able to take better care of my family. How do you think it feels to know that I'm gonna have to spend the rest of my life like this, because of something as silly as a medicine. I have no life.

I can't be in any kind of social situation. No going to concerts, no going to parades, or the carnival with my kids, no going on family trips, no socializing at all. My anxiety has gotten so bad I can't even drive anymore. How would you like to be 34 years old, and still not be able to get in the car and go places as you please.How would you like it if you were unable to do your own grocery shopping, or do your own laundry at the laundry mat? How much would you enjoy life if you were unable to have friends, or go out on the town for a little fun? Other than going to the doctor, and moving from the camper into this motel room, I haven't left the safety of indoors, in 3 years... It's like I'm in jail, and my quality of life is majorly effected, but there is no doctor out there that cares. I don't have to be on SSI, and living like this...but the doctors make me. I have had 5 or 6 opinions, and they all agree on my diagnosis's, and they all agree that I NEED my medication really bad...but they still won't give it to me, and they won't discuss other treatment options. I was dieing, they knew it, and did nothing!

I don't know what to do from this point. When I look at our lives, the things our kids have missed out on, the things they will miss out on in the future, and the things we will never have or be able to do...I get angry, and depressed. I can't stand to be in my own skin anymore. I feel like I have failed as a mother and wife, and I am reminded everyday that I wake up, that this day is gonna be just as bad as the day before. If Workers comp was paying my husband what he was actually making at the time of his injury, we wouldn't be poor. If the doctors would give me my medication, we wouldn't be poor...we weren't poor before we moved to PA, we weren't rich, but our kids were able to be with us, and we were able to provide for them. We had a comfortable life. Now, my family is broken up, I am living in a motel, and there's no hope in the near future of anything changing. We already know there is not going to be any kind of settlement from workers comp.

I watch these TV shows where they rebuild peoples cars for them, or their motorcycles,and i read articles on how a college student couldn't afford to go to school and pay his living expenses at the same time, so a bunch of people sent him donations, and things to help him so he could continue his education. I watch Ty build people brand new houses, why, because they are in need of decent houseing....well...so are we but we don't see ANYONE trying to help us...or our children..I watch people fraud the state, getting food stamps, medicate, and cash assistance, when they don't need it. I know of people who go to doctors and get pain medication, not because they need it, but because they want to sell it. It's not pain medication I need...and I still can't get mine. People will lie, and say they are separated from their spouse just to get more money from the government....and here we are telling the truth about everything....have proof of everything, and still no one believes us, nor cares enough to help us.

My husband and I finally had enough, and we did actually separate. He still takes care of things for me because of my disabilities, and we really do still love each other, but we can't live together. His stress and my anxiety got to be to much. We have our marriage on hold, hoping something will change soon.

Here is it Thanksgiving, and Frank came to my motel room just so neither of us would have to spend Thanksgiving alone. No dinner, no other family or friends, but we have each other. Christmas isn't going to be any better.

I hope putting our story out there changes something for us, but I don't expect it. I just wanted people out there to know what our lives are like so they stop taking the things they have for granted. So they realize just how good they have it. Most importantly, in my opinion, don't move to PA and think you're gonna have a good life here. If you do move to PA, make sure you don't get injured on the job, and have to deal with workers comp.

If you know of any way to help us, or have any suggestions, please leave a comment below, or email me at lady.whiskey@yahoo.com...or if you would rather speak to one of us in person for more info, please feel free to call 814-516-3064. Thank you.