State of Society Part 2: Turn it Up, I Can't Feel It

Day after day, and night after night I hear them. You probably hear them too, but I seem to be a bit more sensitive to them than most. Either that, or I just seem to pay more attention to the assault on my senses. I am speaking, of course, about those "boom boxes". The lowered four wheel dually you hear booming down the highway. Te "rice rocket" that has a much deeper tone than one would expect from a high compression four cylinder engine. The SUV with the gold plated 19 inch wheels sporting 21 inch diameter tires, sounding more like a locomotive than a new, quiet SUV. Maybe even the soccer mom's minivan is the source of the racket you almost feel more than hear.

It is war, pure and simple. Well, more of a rebellion. Revolution isn't really an appropriate term here, though the sound is quite revolting to me. These teenage and young adult (I use that term VERY loosely) 'rebels' have armed their vehicles with weapons to assault the public. To terrorize us with the sounds of well-tuned woofer boxes designed to create 'standing waves' that project a nearly subsonic sound for distances that can range in the miles. Sure, loud music has been around for a long time, but the attack on our senses has a new weapon of mass disruption.

So what does this indicate about society today? What does it all mean? Is it just another stepping stone in the "rock and roll" revolution started in the 50s? Or is it more sinister, like the movements of the 60s that spawned drug use and rampant sexually transmitted diseases. Folks, this is much worse.

This is a bunch of irresponsible children. Children that you yourselves raised (I point the finger because I have no children). Children who don't give a care in the world about how they affect someone else, only how cool they look, driving down the road with their windows rattling, their cars shaking to pieces, and their hearing slowly but most assuredly being destroyed.

What's worse is the lack of enforcement of noise pollution ordinances. Most places have a "50 foot"' statute, where if the sound can be heard more than 50 feet from the car or house, its too loud. Is this enforced? No! Apparently cops are too busy catching me as I try to speed away from the assault on my ears.

Folks, society is doomed. Society is doomed because it is being boomed. Maybe we should start talking about boom and gloom. Maybe we should all remember that gloom rhymes with that boom we hear when the lifted Dodge drives by, the rear window about to fall out.

As for me, I'm going to get in contact with one of the two companies I know of that makes that new ultrasonic sound weapon technology thing I keep hearing about, where sound is projected, but can't be heard from the source. You know, the one the DOD is looking at for use on the battlefield; the military battlefield that is. I want that technology for the battlefield I'm on everyday, my neighborhood, my city streets, my freeways. If you guys are reading this, please, please, send me a sample and make sure you tune it for 8Hz at 150dB. That should just about rock the sound system right out of the vehicle.

Oh, and as for you, little miss Red Suburban with the new sound system: You're first on my list.

Funny, as I write the last line, one just drove by: boom, boom boom. Boom, boom boom.