State of Society Part 3: Gimme Some Sugar, Baby

I'm addicted. I'm addicted to a white powder. I get a nice buzz off of this powder. And I can guarantee that every one of you reading this are addicted too.

I'm talking of course about sugar.

What'd you think I was talking about?

Sugar is an addictive substance. I don't know the chemical attributes, so I can't tell you if its physically addictive or not, but I do know, from personal experience, that sugar is psychologically addictive. I went without for four days about a year ago, in an effort to lose weight (I have the secret to losing weight if you wanted to know. Just call me, and for a mere $1,000 I'll tell you the secret. Or, if you ask nice, I'll write it down and publish it for everyone to read for free...). Let me tell you, those four days were pure hell. And not just for myself. People around me suffered as well. I remember at one point telling a friend to "give me some damn sugar, NOW" just out of the blue. I was going nuts, more so than people tell me I already am.

The good news is that I did lose some weight. 20 pounds in 5 weeks, and I owe that to eating sugar only about once a week. We're talking NO sugar. No desert, no cookies, no fruit, no fruit juice, no Gatorade, nothing. Well, except milk. That was my only sugar allowance.

The really funny thing: I was healthiest when I didn't consume sugar. I only required 6 hours of sleep. I had more energy. I was healthier. I felt better. I was more calm and relaxed. I didn't have mood swings. I didn't get tired about lunch time. And my teeth: my gawd, what a difference. I woke up in the morning without that feeling on my teeth, you know the one...the feeling of your teeth rotting off, one layer of porcelain at a time.

But what does this all mean to you. I mean, come on, I'm not writing this to tell you how wonderful I am for not eating sugar (especially since the addiction has returned with a vengeance.) Well, first, a few facts. Primarily, sugar was introduced into the human diet about 500 years ago. Guess by whom? The British. That's right, the people with the reputation for nasty teeth. It was a major focus of their colonialism in that era. See, we didn't use oil back then, and sugar, well, that was the oil of the time. People died for sugar. Slavery was based on sugar. It's inconceivable today (unless of course you look at oil.)

And what about today? Well, sugar is in almost every food product out there. I remember rumors of some golden arched fast food chain putting sugar in their meat patties (I didn't say hamburger, did I?) That's probably not very far from the truth. You can't imagine how hard it was to find food products without sugar when I was dieting. We, as a society, are truly addicted to it. It's in everything.

So what you say? Well...guess what. Sugar is cited as a leading cause of ADD and ADHD. Sugar is why we have dentists (they're all behind it, don't you know.) Oh, speaking of dentists, guess what: Yup, back to part 1: toothpaste is sweetened! Well, don't believe me, read the ingredients for yourself. What is wrong with this world where we have to brush our teeth clean with a mouth full of sugar (or at least, with what tastes like sugar)?

To heck with all of you who say the evil in this world is oil. Its sugar!

Just don't give C&H a copy of this. They'll probably send their hitman after me.