Stay at Hom Mom Versus the Working Mom

I've been a full time stay at home mom for four years now and I worked full time for five years prior to that. So I've lived both worlds, the working mom and the stay at home mom. I can honestly say that neither one of them are actually perfect. There are positives and negatives to both.

The perks of being a full time working mother are time away from the little ones and being able to cherish the moments you do get to spend with your children. The away time seems to make you more tentative during the time you do get to spend with your children. The extra money to make ends meet or just extra spending cash is of course always a nice advantage. As a full time working mother you have the benefit of having a career and the satisfaction of hearing what a great job you have done and the luxury of adult conversation and an adult lifestyle while at work. The downfall was the amount of guilt we as mothers tend to put ourselves through because of the fact that our children are spending their precious days with someone other than us. Were they in a safe and learning environment? Yes, but the guilt still tends to eat us up. There is not enough vacation time to take off to spend winter, spring, and summer vacation with the kids. You miss out on the days off from school along with school activities because there is just not enough vacation time. The other downfall is the fact that we, as women tend to expect ourselves to be a full time employee, full time mom, full time wife, and part time housekeeper. Honestly, speaking for myself, that just can't happen. We as women are still human and something has to give. Either we have to come to the conclusion that we are only one person and only so much can get done with the twenty-four hours a day we are given, or we are going to give mentally for trying.

Being a stay at home mom seems to be a lot of women's dream. For some women it is totally fulfilling and rewarding to be the main provider for their child/children and be able to be available at almost all times to shape and mold the future of our children. It is totally rewarding to be able to be the one to hold your precious child when they need you and to be the one they turn to if they are having a problem. It is nice to be able to be there when your children get home from school and be the first person they share the highlights of their day with and be able to attend all the school field trips and parties. The first few years of a child's life are very important and shape their life long personality. You will never get back those years but you can always make more money. In some ways you give up a part of yourself when you become a stay at home mom. But it comes with its disadvantages too. No matter how many hours you put in, how much work you do, or how hard you work you will most likely never get a raise or a promotion due to your hard work. You might get an occasional, "Oh the house looks nice today honey" and a sweet "Thank you for baking the cookies for the party, mom." A stay at home mom is ALWAYS on duty. There is no vacation, there is no break time, and there is no one that can take your "calls" while you are busy. The adult conversation is nonexistent and sometimes it does get a little lonely talking about Dora and learning to count and read all day long. Sometimes it can be a financial hardship and you do have to do without some luxuries such as the beauty salon or nice new clothes. It can also become boring after a while because your children don't need you the entire day and neither does the housework.

After spending many years on both sides of the fence I can honestly say that personally, staying at home with my children to watch them grow and spend those precious years disadvantages and all, it has totally been worth it. I would give up my own identity, adult life, luxuries, and promotions/raises all for the simple hug and I love you in the morning. I know that I will have plenty of time to develop my career in the future if I so choose but I will never be able to go back in time to develop my children and the relationship I have with them.