Stay-at-Home Dad's Guide to Parenting Twins

Am I seeing double? Those were my first thoughts as I spotted two "beings" during my wife's ultrasound. After I sat down, I realized there was nothing wrong with the ultrasound machine, but in fact we were having twins. Thoughts of diapers, formula, stories, and college filled my head, times two. But one thing never crossed my mind, how will they be cared for once I returned to work from my leave of absence. I have two other children and my wife was the caretaker and I was the 9-5er. I knew they would be in great hands, but I rarely performed the magic my wife did in raising them.

Now times are different. I am the 21^st century stay-at-home dad and I am now assuming a lot of the responsibilities of raising the children while my wife works. So how do I accomplish a task I have always taken for granted? I was responsible for almost $100 million dollars per year and had an uncanny calmness, but a thought of steering my own children in the right direction was scary. So I will provide you with a guide, from the 21^st century stay-at-home dad, on how to successfully parent twins, without seeing double.

Individuality

My first hurdle I had to overcome was to realize my twins are individuals. I cannot treat them as two of the same people. For example, my son favors quiet time playing with cars and trucks, while my daughter prefers to color and draw pictures. So I have incorporated play time as individual time. I give them their own separate areas to express their individuality. An important side of separating them during this time is to incorporate dad into the equation. You have to make your twins feel as if dad is home for good and not just taking days off from work. The time spent will make memories far beyond the millions I made yearly.

During individual time, allow the twins to take the lead in their play time activities. As the stay at home dad, how many tea parties have you actually attended? And if you did attend any tea parties, did you enjoy the time spent, or was time spent rudimentary? Allow your twins to see a different side of dad for the first time.

Discipline

No two people are created equal, and thus should not be disciplined the same. Once you have incorporated individual time into your daily routine, you will start to understand what makes your twins tick. Remember, twins have a strange way of doing things together. They "lived" together for 9 months, why wouldn't they be joined at the hip most days. So my strategy is to look at actions and correct the actions performed by the individual and not the whole.

Favoritism

At times, parents of twins will gravitate toward the perceived stronger of the two twins. Whether it be where one child excels at sports or attending after school activities of the other twin who loves theater, unbeknownst to us, we favor one over the other. You will need to delicately handle this particular situation as to not have the perception of loving one more than the other. Taking from the business world, you have solved countless number of problems, so this situation will be "child's play".

• Speak to your twins together

• Explain the purpose behind your support of one verses the other

• Ask for their feedback on how to correct

• Act upon their feedback

Twins are two individuals who just so happen, at times, to look alike. Treating them as if they are individuals will encourage them to grow as an individual. Excepting them as a unit will only have you seeing double.