Staying Faithful

Karen Meeker
The divorce rate continues to rise, the number of people living together instead of getting married is growing daily, and just thinking about a silver anniversary is terrifying to many young people. Are you struggling to stay faithful? Is your relationship in need of a tune up? By putting just a little work into you and your partner, you could have a stronger, healthier relationship in no time.

Avoiding temptations is difficult for everyone, but it is also an important place to start when you are worried about the solidity of your relationship. In a time when you don't even have to leave the house to be tempted, avoidance is not always easy. If your temptation is general such as just being bored with what you already have, the Internet can be very dangerous. It is easily accessible and the multitude of chat sites, dating networks, and message boards can be very alluring when the flames are flickering in your face to face life. If you find yourself turning on the computer and turning off your significant other, it is time to go offline for awhile and concentrate on what is real.

Even trickier than the general temptation is the real live temptation. If the temptation is staring you in the face day after day, there are still ways that you can avoid trouble. It is important to avoid being alone with the person that you are finding so irresistible and to not engage in conversations that are too personal in nature. Whether or not this person knows you are tempted, making it clear that you have no intention of cheating on your current partner is imperative to staying faithful. Keeping this other person at arms length as much as possible will help to keep your current situation on track.

Once you have managed to avoid and remove external problems, you may need to evaluate and redefine what is happening internally to your love life. Taking time to assess what it is you need from your combined life and what is missing will help both of you to better understand what needs to be changed. Redefining is not only about making changes, but is also about keeping and expanding on what is working. If your relationship is important enough to put this much effort into, something has got to be working. Don't be afraid to keep what is working and throw out what is hurting you as a couple.

We all have our little secrets. Maybe we spent an extra ten dollars on an outfit and didn't own up to it or possibly we ate the last piece of cake, but failed to mention it. These little fibs are not going to wreck most healthy relationships. If you have noticed a great deal of strain between you and your loved one, it may be time for both of you to come clean. By sitting down and being completely honest with your partner, you not only create a stronger bond, but you let them know you are human too. There are times in every relationship where we make mistakes and it is important to recognize them and move on. If you are nervous about telling the truth, start with something small and work up to the larger things. In the most difficult times, don't hesitate to involve a third party to help iron things out a bit. A counselor or clergy member can sometimes make it easier to be honest with the person you love.

Once you have acknowledged the problems in your relationship and sought out ways to fix them, it is imperative that you take some time just for the two of you. Finding ways to reconnect after the threat of being unfaithful can be the step that lets you both know that things are going to be alright. Take a vacation, go to a movie, or just cook out in the back yard, but do something that you both will enjoy and do it together. Connecting on a regular basis will help to avoid thoughts of being unfaithful.

Keeping a relationship intact can be a challenge in the best of situations, but being unfaithful will not make anything better. If you feel yourself starting to stray or you are concerned your partner may be thinking about straying, try some of these tips and try them now. If it was important enough to get worried about, it is important enough to work hard and save it.

Published by Karen Meeker

I am currently a full time Special Education teacher in Northern NY, co-owner of the website, http://ark2u.com , and write freelance on a part time basis.  View profile

6 Comments

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  • Gwen Stackler10/14/2007

    Good points

  • Jessica Peter6/14/2007

    Great article. I cannot imagine ever being unfaithful to my significant other. I think people forget that a marriage/committment is hard work. It's not always fun and games and if you can force yourself out of tempting situations, you've already passed the hard part.

  • DrDevience5/8/2007

    How much I spent on a trip to the mall is a bit of a game between my husband and I... *snicker* As far being faithful goes, though, it is odd, but I just cannot image ever being with anyone but him.

  • Charlotte Kuchinsky4/9/2007

    Married 38 years; together 43 and I'm happy as a clam. Good article.

  • Ryan Stephens4/8/2007

    I don't know that I ever envision myself having trouble staying faithful to some I am committed to;however, with the divorce rates still climbing, obviously it's an issue and you bring up some solid points. Nice article.

  • R. Geary3/30/2007

    Good advice.

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