Step Fathers Can Be Real Dads

When Father's Day comes around, I think first of my step-father. Don't get me wrong, I loved my biological Dad. Except - well - he wasn't much of a father to me. It's more like Daddy was his name than what he did. So I called him Daddy, and all the while I was fathered faithfully by the man who took over the job when I was eight years old. My life improved dramatically when I turned eight!

My step-dad was the best kind of a Dad - FUN! He took us fishing, and when I proved too impatient with a fishing pole, hooking trees, old tires, people on the banks... anything but fish, he patiently taught me to use a cane pole. His patience eventually taught me patience. He took us camping, hiking and swimming, too; along the way he taught us about the plants, animals and out of the way places we were discovering. I discovered peace in nature, too.

The beach was a favorite destination. I remember my step-dad cooking hot dogs and beans on a little camp stove, often in a sudden shower, always fending off sand that I spread liberally as I ran back and forth. He also took us to the circus, and I got to ride an elephant. Years later he took my son, who also got to ride an elephant. We went to Disney World a lot, often camping in the park. And one year we took an unforgettable five-week camping trip from Florida to Wyoming, across the upper states to Indiana, and back down to Florida. He played with us, too, and told us stories. On summer evenings when I'd been running barefoot all day and he'd patiently dig out the splinters and sand spurs from my sore feet, I knew I was loved.

My step-father loved to cook special foods related to the seasons and holidays. Homemade pizza on Sunday nights; warm gingerbread with applesauce, or homemade donuts, in the fall; limeade in the summer, when he would also grill hamburgers, hot dogs and steaks on his charcoal grill.

He was a tease, too. When my friends would call the house, he'd grab the phone before I could get to it and answer, "Joe's Bar and Grill." When a date would come to the door, he made sure he was cleaning his shotgun.

My step-father gave me away at my wedding. I insisted I was not nervous as I gripped his arm so tightly that my nails left marks. In a few years, he became the best Grandpa imaginable to our three boys - taking them fishing and camping, fixing them special foods, teasing them... and I swear that through some special osmosis of love, they inherited many traits from my step-father.

My step-father has plenty of interests of his own. He enjoys fishing, camping and bow-hunting, he's brilliant at math, and he's a wonderful gardener and photographer. But he has always taken time to care for his family - even his instant family - and that's why I say my step-father is the best possible Real Dad.