Steps to Protect Your Children - Take the Time to Remember Active Parenting

Keeping my kids safe is currently one of the most difficult things in my life. With the current situation involving young Madeleine and the complete shock to her family over it, I have looked into how I am protecting my own children and thought I would share what I do to other parents. Realizing that Madeleine was much younger than my own children and also they were on vacation, these tips are more designed as simply an "awareness", that you can never, as a parent, let your guard down.

I have every belief that Madeleine's situation was not a condition of her parents letting their guard down. McCann, who turned four on Saturday, disappeared from the family's room May 3 while her parents were at dinner, and the abduction has sparked a national outpouring of sympathy and aid in Britain. Madeleine vanished after her parents left her and her brother and sister, both aged 2, alone in their room while they went to a tapas bar inside their hotel complex in southern Portugal's Algarve region, a popular European tourist destination. At this point, attempting to judge the decision to leave three toddlers alone in a room is a moot point. No explanations, no ransom, no awareness of why has been unearthed. This is devastating to a concerned parent. There is no way to prepare for this moment. The last question you never want to ask is "where is my child?". I sat down with my own children and talked about young Madeleine and how it affected them when they heard of a child, any child, going missing.

Recently in Australia, two young girls committed suicide, but not before leaving notes and messages on the Internet that their parents were not aware of. In recent days, a young woman (15) was brazenly kidnapped on the street and has yet to be seen. Also, a woman's entire family has gone missing again, after being abducted by their father. Children can disappear in a heartbeat and with an active slave trade with millions in children under 12, there is no reason to not take every precaution.

Just for some relevance, I have a 15 year old, 12 year old, 7 year old and 6 year old, and an even mix of boys and girls. This is not about being paranoid, it's about being aware. If you start early with these techniques, then there will be less resistance as your kids grow to you using them. It will be considered normal.

Know all your kids friends. When your kids make a new friend, take the time to invite them around to your house. Make it a treat for your child, as a reward for good behaviour. When they are dropped off, step outside and meet the parents. Later, sit down with your child and the new friend casually, over a snack and ask questions. Of course, give them time to play and don't hover, but let them know you are there and aware of them being in the house.

Have your children keep an address book of their friends that you can access. Names, phone numbers, and street addresses. Verify these addresses by dropping your children off and picking them up.

Avoid letting your child wander the street looking for adventures and friends. If they are going to go somewhere, they need to know where they are going and let you know. That way, you can know if something is wrong when they haven't reached their destination.

Meet the other parents when you drop your children off on play dates. Shake hands, exchange phone numbers, let them know of any special needs and of course, an emergency number for you.

If your kids want to go to the movies, take them there. Drop them off and be there when they get out of the theatre. Make a point to be there early, before the movie gets out and let the usher know they are going to be there by themselves. All it takes is a moment and you have let them know that someone is aware of their activities. That alone is enough to deter most kids from bad behaviour.

Be completely aware of your kid's internet activities. Do not let them have a computer in their bedroom with Internet. Period. Too many cases of kid's being led down the wrong path because they shut themselves in their rooms and stayed on the Internet chatting to compete strangers. MySpace would not be the problem it is if parents were more aware of what their kids were doing on MySpace.

The Internet however is not the problem, it is the access and the actions on the Internet that is the problem. Have access to your children's email accounts, if they have them. Better yet, have a family email that their friends can email to that you can look through as needed. It is only now that my oldest is fifteen that she has her own email, and yet I still have the password for it.

Do children need privacy, yes, of course, but not when it's a risk. Are children going to try and push the boundaries? Yes, of course, but with awareness, it's a matter of noticing when something isn't right. As parents, you learn to listen to that feeling, listen to your inner voice, and you err on the side of caution. Most kids make bad choices because they are looking for attention; they are trying to get someone to see them. The key is to let your children know they are loved and they can come to you.

End of the day, I am praying for Madeleine's safe return and that her parents are reunited with their daughter. I hope from this that every parent takes the time to review how they are looking after their own children and how they are being "active parents".