Steps I Took to Quit Smoking Cigarettes

Quitting smoking is one of those things. It's impossible to do, yet very possible. If you've ever tried quitting smoking, that makes perfect sense. Even a short search for information on how to quit smoking will give you success story after success story. And yet, you may feel success eludes you.

I admit here and now: I have found what works for me. I have discovered how to quit smoking. My success at quitting is based entirely, and continually, on one rule and only one rule. That rule has been modified over time, but the rule itself remains the same. I am allowed to smoke in only one place.

Japan.

When I started quitting smoking, I'd smoked, on average, a ½-pack a day for 20 years. At that time, I was living in Japan as an English teacher. I went out almost every night after work with my friends, for dinner and drinks. I decided while living in this way that I would limit my smoking only to the bar we went to nearly every night ~ Eddie's. That was my rule: only at Eddie's. (True, I never went to any other bar after that decision....)

I'd tried quitting before. Cold turkey, a total quit. NO smoking, at all. This was so difficult. Day Three was impossible. I became the "Queen (bad word) from (bad word)." I know you know what those bad words are, because chances are good that if you've tried cold turkey, then Day Three was your worst day, too. If I could make it past Day Three, I had a real chance at quitting. But it was never "for good." I just couldn't do it. Something would happen, some stress, some unexpected difficulty, a wisp of a thought, the smell of tobacco, and I'd bum one and be right back in my habit.

I'd tried weaning myself off, but that didn't work for me, either. I'd see my cigarettes there on the coffee table, and know I was denying myself. It was as if they were there, smirking at me, taunting me, "c'mon, you know you want it." If I gave in, I'd feel guilty, and bad about myself. Then I'd want another one. Sooner. And just like that, the grueling cycle was set. Every time I smoked, I felt guilty, which made me feel worse and want to smoke more but I wanted to quit smoking. It was impossible!

But his time... ah, now I had a new rule, and my rule ~ it worked. "Only at Eddie's." I knew, no matter how crummy a day I was having, I knew I'd be going to Eddie's after work and I could smoke there. I knew my cigarettes were in my purse, but they weren't out in the open to mock me and my desire to smoke yet not smoke. I told myself I could smoke all I wanted later on, at Eddie's. No limits, no restrictions, not even paying attention. Totally guilt free. As much as I wanted, I could smoke at Eddie's.

And that was the difference. Sometimes I wanted to smoke during the day, but I reminded myself I'd be at Eddie's in x hours, and I was able to maintain control. I never broke the rule!

The curious thing was, I also didn't change how much I smoked when I was at Eddie's. No extras to make up for not having had any all day. And after about five months of this permissive non-smoking, I gave it up altogether. Even at Eddie's, one night I just didn't smoke. I didn't even take my cigarettes out. I was, simply, done.

I came home to the USA, and didn't even think about smoking. A few years later, I returned to Japan for another teaching job, but Eddie's was gone. And yet, there I was in a country filled with smokers and few rules against smoking. I was there only a week or so when I started smoking again. But only in a few places that I frequented: one bar, two coffee shops ~ and never in my home!

After another year, I came back home to the states, and didn't smoke. Several years later, I went to Japan for a week to visit friends, and I bought a pack of cigarettes my first night there. It was okay, we were meeting in that "one bar," my previously-allowed location.

I repeated this pattern a few more times until I realized I had modified my rule, but its essence remained. Now, I smoke "only in Japan." When I'm in Japan, I allow myself to buy Japanese cigarettes. There, I smoke as much as I like, although still only at a bar or a coffee shop, nowhere else. And when I leave, I'm done. I'm a total non-smoker outside of Japan. Someday I know I'll stop smoking there, too. I believe that, just like at Eddie's, one day I won't feel the desire to smoke at all anymore, not even in Japan.

This may or may not work for anyone else, but it works for me. I quit smoking. Now, it is only the rare indulgence when I'm on vacation in Japan every three years or so. I smoke nowhere else.

If you follow this method to quit smoking, there are three sub-rules.

One: be extremely precise as to where smoking is allowed. For example, I used "only at Eddie's," and later, "only in Japan, at The Rink or upstairs at Tully's or at Dan's Coffee." Setting a time didn't work: for me, it had to be a place.

Two: the place cannot be at home. I had to literally leave home and go somewhere, so, "only in the garage" or "only on the balcony" would not work. The act of physically leaving and going somewhere else added just the right amount of hassle ~ sometimes, I didn't want to leave home, and the desire for that cigarette went away. I wanted to stay home more than I wanted to smoke. It worked for me, it really did!

Three: Attach no feelings of guilt or remorse to this act of smoking when you are in your precisely-allowed location. What's the point of that?

Good luck to you as you teach yourself how to quit smoking!