Sternberg's Theory of Love

Psychologist Robert Sternberg developed a model of love that consists of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. He defined intimacy as the emotional connection that is based primarily on the sharing of intense and personal information and the capacity of mutual acceptance. Passion was defined as love's motivational drive including sexual attraction and craving for sexual intimacy; passion induces attraction and appeal, and is easily aroused, but also easily dampened. Commitment is the decisive and thoughtful part of love; it involves first deciding one is "in love," which, over time, develops into a lasting commitment to a relationship or person. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

These three components are seen in various combinations to evidence different types of love. According to Sternberg, there are eight types of love formed through the various combinations of the three components of love; they are: Nonlove, Liking, Infatuation, Empty Love, Romantic Love, Companionate Love, Fatuous Love, and Consummate Love. In Sternberg's model, couples harmoniously complement each other if each person is equally matched in levels of passion, intimacy, and commitment. Relationships in which the couples are unequal in any component is largely incompatible. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Nonlove

Nonlove does not contain any component of love. Nonlove does not contain intimacy, passion, or commitment and is experienced through casual acquaintances such as therapists, teachers, neighbors, etc. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Liking

Liking details a relationship based on intimacy, but not passion or commitment. The characteristic of Liking is having close, intimate friendships with no long-term commitment; an example of Liking is developing an intimate friendship with a neighbor, but because commitment and passion are missing if either neighbor moves away, the relationship is not maintained. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Infatuation

Infatuation is a relationship based on passion, with no intimacy or commitment. Infatuation is characterized by passionate attraction on sight, and an example of such would be a one night stand. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Empty Love

Empty Love is a relationship based on commitment, lacking any intimacy or passion. An example of Empty Love is a couple staying in a marriage or relationship for the "sake of the children;" Empty Love is characterized by a lack of emotional warmth or heat of passion where partners tolerate each other because of a false sense of duty, obligation, or fear of change. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Romantic Love

Romantic Love is a relationship based on passion and intimacy; however, it lacks commitment. Romantic Love is characterized by a couple who are emotionally and physically drawn to one another without the commitment of a long-term relationship. Romantic lovers look at each other through "rose colored glasses" not seeing each other's flaws. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Companionate Love

Companionate Love is based on intimacy and commitment without the wild fire of passion. Companionate Love is characterized by a committed friendship and shared intimacy; an example of Companionate Love is a marriage whose passion has dwindled or a very close and intimate friendship that has survived through distance, hardship, and time. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Fatuous Love

Fatuous Love is based on passion and commitment, but lacks intimacy. Fatuous Love is where passion and commitment are combined before true intimacy can develop; an example would be a marriage commitment based on passionate sex which over times loses its passionate nature, and since the couple do not share intimate conversations, goals, and dreams, the marriage is ended when it is realized the couple are not a good match. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Consummate Love

Consummate Love involves intimacy, commitment, and passion. Consummate Love is when a couple are perfectly matched in passion, intimacy, and commitment, and it is the ideal that most people try to achieve. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

A relationship (whether romantic in nature, familial, or casual) may go through any or all of these classifications of love.

References

Nevid, J. S., & Rathus, S. A. (2005). Psychology and the challenges of life: Adjustment in the new millennium (9^th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.