Stillborn-- Ten Years Later (Poem)

These quiet hiccups run along my belly
an ancient ache that I carry
as familiar as my own skin

Death, my nemesis rarely sleeps
and I remain wrapped in misery
invisible in my imagination.

This pain, so vast it would be the sky.
So deep that it riles the oceans depths.
Dark and thick with oppression.

That it can be dredged up again so easily
so intensely after all these years
is disheartening
and yet it is exactly the way it must be.

The words come and they are always my being
when they must be about a little boy
who now plays celestial catch with stars
on August nights.

About a boy who never took a single breath
but lived nonetheless.

And left me, a student
learning what is most important, what matters.
Love, my redemption
sighs a tiny sigh
as I study peace.