Stop Asking for Other People's Permission to Live

How many of you are waiting on someone else to tell you it's OK to take a vacation, take a much needed break from your corporate responsibilities or perhaps even give you permission to leave a bad relationship or start that business you're so talented to run? Well, I'm here to tell you - you'll be waiting for a long time to get someone else's approval. Quite frankly, we're not even promised to live another day - let alone the next few minutes, so why aren't you living the life you've always dreamed? Stop asking for other people's permission!

As I write this post, sitting here on my balcony and reflecting on my life, the choices I've made and the silliest habit I've had waiting on someone else to give me permission to live. I realize I've been in my own way. Isn't that ridiculous? Not so - there are many of us giving away our power everyday. I call it a "slave mentality". You don't necessarily have to be of African descent to understand what that feels like. There are a great number of us that struggle against what we know and what we think. Oftentimes our thoughts are the very thing that has us enslaved. I've decided to live my life on my own terms doing my own thing! Have you heard the song, "Imma do me!"? Let that be your motivation! I don't need permission to live a life that has promised me abundance...if I can believe that, then as my dear cousin and inspirational author of A Legacy of Inspirationshares, "I can achieve it!" So, watch me do me!

How did I arrive at this pivotal moment? Well, like you, I tend to put others before me. It's that childhood dysfunction thing that keeps showing up in my adulthood, but that crap is for the birds. I'm done! No more trying to be (you fill in the blank):

• the "good" (daughter, sister, lover, friend, supporter, worker, etc.,)

You name it, I made sure to be damn good at it! The very people I would bend over backwards for began to slap me awake. Parents' weren't there when I needed them. Friends didn't answer when I called. Lovers strayed and betrayed and corporate America could care less! But onward I marched - to the beat of everyone else's drum - loyal to a fault. And then I got a glimpse of what it might feel like to live live on my own terms!

Well I relocated to a city I've always adored almost two years ago. I took my business with me as well as my duties to be there for anyone who called upon me. No matter whom it was - clients, family, friends or even "the day job", I was there. I poured my heart and soul into every person that latched onto my bosom. My days were full of putting one hat down to pick up another. Then one day all my worlds collided in a semi-colossal accident. Surely I crashed, but Thank God I didn't burn.

I imagined the headline to read: "Single, Ambitious, Successful, Young, Talented, Beautiful, Black Woman Died of a Stroke, Heart Attack, Lung Disease - you can fill in the blank as long as it relates to high Blood Pressure.

I just celebrated a birthday last week - I'm 31 and barely a week into my new age and I'm in the ER shaking, nauseated, weak, headache and blood pressure "through the roof" according to the ER Nurse. She's puzzled by the numbers that register given my age and the good grace that all tests - including a CAT scan - were completely normal. "Young lady, I'm relieved your tests are normal, but I'm concerned about your elevated Blood Pressure. What's the deal?" My solemn reply, "Stress."

I reflect back on all the duties and disappointments of yesterday - the cancelled birthday vacation to NY, the new business partnerships I've agreed to be apart of (in addition to my own PR firm) and the "day job" that's always in the way. And of course, my unfulfilled dreams looming over my head. My business needs me, my clients need me and more importantly, I need me. I hear my own scared voice, "Now, will you listen to me and slow down. Smell the roses and go after your own heart's desires and stop being afraid. This could have been "it!"" I look around....I'm with myself...no one to call and ask if I'm OK or will I be OK....silence...finally at the moment I really need someone. The consequences of needing permission.

As I reflect and write this post on my balcony. I see the trees, I hear the birds. I smell the stale afternoon air and hear the cars zoom by and realize I'm finally "in the moment" and ready to declare. I WILL NOT ASK PERMISSION ANY LONGER! I will SHOW UP FOR ME, BELIEVE IN ME, LOVE ME AND GIVE ME PERMISSION TO "DO ME"! I will go after my most treasured dreams and goals no matter what! I will leave fear, doubt and cowardice behind and I ask you to join me in my new found freedom and do the same! Now, watch me do me!!