Stop Paying for Her : Avoid Being a Money Spender on a Date

Don't go out on "traditional" dates anymore! See, if you don't go out on "take her out to dinner" dates anymore, then you won't have to deal with paying for them. A lot of good research suggests that women think men, who are potential mates, fall into one of two categories. I call these "Lover" and "Provider". In a "traditional" boy-meets-girl situation, the girl makes a decision early on whether you're the type of guy that she should get physically involved with quickly, or if you're not the nicer type that would be glad to prove yourself to her by paying for lots of expensive dates, buying flowers.

A very common approach that men use is the old "Can I take you out sometime?" line. At first glance, it sounds innocent enough. It has the ring of "I'm a nice guy, and I'd like to take you to dinner so I have a chance to get to know you better" to it, right? Well, it may seem that way at first glance, but let's get a little deeper into what else you're saying when you ask a question like this one.

1. You're starting off the relationship right from the beginning by offering to buy something for her, and more importantly you're setting an expectation. In other words, when you do this, you're setting an expectation that you're going to do this from now on.

2. You're saying, "I feel like I need to use a bribe to get you to see me again". I'm sure that men have been bribing women with food and gifts since the dawn of our species. Does this sound far-fetched to you? Check out how our closest relatives, the chimps use food to persuade females to have sex with them. No, really.

3. Once you "take a woman out" and prove to her beyond the shadow of a doubt that you like to pay for things, you set a whole series of other subconscious expectations in place. Without going into detail, most of these other expectations will only lead her thinking of you in the "nice guy" category, and costing you time and money that you might as well have thrown down a rat hole.

4. By going out to a typical nice restaurant setting, you start a whole chain of events that often leads to two people looking at each other over a candle, in a loud room full of other people, with a typically uncomfortable "OK, so tell me about yourself and don't ask me too many personal questions please" look on your faces.

I don't know about you, but this just isn't my idea of a good time. So, what else is there? As I said earlier, the first thing you might consider doing is not asking women out anymore. Instead, just say, "Do you have email?" If she does, hand her a pen and say, "Great, write it down for me." Then, follow up by inviting her to join you for a cup of tea and some stimulating conversation. Here's an example email for you:

"Hi, it was fun talking yesterday... I'm thinking that we should get together tomorrow for a cup of tea and some stimulating conversation. You seem like you might make a nice friend." Then, if you're really cheap, show up 5 minutes late so she buys her own tea and is waiting for you. You can even say, "How inconsiderate of you... where's mine?"
If you want to be a man that she feels attraction for, then quit acting like all the other guys that try to buy her attention with food and gifts.

If you buy a woman enough dinners, she may begin to feel some affection for you... but food and gifts will never lead to attraction.

Now, knowing how to avoid buying women dinners and gifts is only a small piece of the puzzle. You obviously need to know how to get a woman to be interested enough to date you in the first place before you can NOT take her out on a date I've spent a lot of time watching guys who are what you might call "Naturals" with women.