Stop Ruining Santa!

First of all, shut up about this "ho ho ho" nonsense. I realize that "'ho" is now a derogatory slang word for prostitute (or someone who's just really slutty), but these people are taking everything out of context. Santa is not calling anyone a whore, okay? He's laughing, he's being jolly, he's in the Christmas spirit! "Ho, ho ho!" is a traditional catch phrase, and shouldn't be taken away from the holidays just because "'ho" has become offensive in certain social context.

Next thing you know, they'll try to change the name of the garden tool currently known as the "hoe." Can't you just see the protests outside Ace Hardware and Home Depot now?

Yesterday I found out people now have a problem with Santa being fat. FAT! Well, what do you expect? He goes around the world, and at each house he visits he eats cookies and drinks milk. That's not exactly a supermodel diet. These people say Santa's sending the wrong message to kids, that it's okay to be fat. If anything, making him skinny would tell kids the wrong message. Oh don't worry kids, it's okay to go on a milk and cookie binge, you won't gain a pound!

Look, I know obesity is a problem in this country, I get it. However, it's not Santa's fault, and it certainly wasn't Cookie Monster's fault. You know why kids are getting fat? Parents are too lazy to teach their kids good nutrition habits and exert any control over what their kids eat and how much physical activity they get. And I'm not saying they need to become health food and exercise fanatics, but they need to step up and say "don't eat junk food and sit on your ass all day!" Look at me, I'm skinny as hell. This is because my parents taught me good eating habits. They stocked the fridge and cabinets with healthy(ish) snacks, and said junk food was okay in moderation but that you shouldn't eat too much of it. They taught me how important is was to exercise.

Also, schools are somewhat to blame. There's nowhere near enough funding for the physical education these kids need. In middle school we had gym every other day, and that was decent, but in high school we only had gym for half the year, for two years, and less than every other day. Not having enough gym class is part of the problem! Another part was health class, or lack therof. Sure we have it, but it's not very effective. They tell kids "you need to eat this to be healthy, but don't eat that or you'll get fat!" Never any mention of "moderation." That's right, tell kids it's okay to have soda every now and then, or that chocolate is okay as long as you don't eat too much. Maybe tell them the benefits of health food. Tell them that certain nutrients and certain types of healthy food are good for your skin, instead of telling them the r-tarded myth that junk food makes you break out. Tell kids that certain foods help you focus, help you do better in sports, help you feel happier, even make you more attractive. I guarantee if you told more girls that a healthy diet would improve their hair, skin, and nails, more girls would eat better.

As for Santa, leave him alone! What's wrong with being fat? Nothing! Yes it's unhealthy, and usually a result of bad nutrition and lack of exercise, but that doesn't mean being fat should be socially unacceptable! We need to teach kids to be more accepting, not more critical. If Santa can't be fat, who can? It's bad enough fat kids get made fun of just because they're unnatractive, now kids will shun them because their lifestyle is "unacceptable." What, should I now stop talking to fat people because their lifestyle might have a bad influence on me? Yeah, as if.

I grew up watching Sesame Street, where Cookie Monster binged on cookies in pretty much every episode. I watched plenty of shows with fat kids. I actually ate junk food in the afternoons. Then again I wasn't eating chips and cookies and soda, I ate fruit snacks, Kudo bars, Smartfood, Cheeze-Its, and I drank water. I walked to and from school, I danced, and I spent countless hours watching TV, sitting at the computer, and playing video games. Sure I had some unhealthy habits but I balanced them with healthy ones, and I'm fit and healthy and I wouldn't change one thing about my body (except my skin).

Leave it alone. Seriously, we have bigger issues to deal with right now. Maybe instead of giving Santa a hard time and argue over whether he should be made thinner, let's focus on doing things to actually solve the obesity problem.