Strange on Strange: March 9, 2007

I have authored a column called: "Can You Believe This?" for more than 18 months. Basically, the premise is that real news is ALWAYS stranger than fiction. Moreover, in my job as a journalist, I've covered cops/criminals---always fodder for general insanity of humans against humans. If I used every article I came across, I would be dead for decades before I'd run out of stories to print. Some of the articles are happy, some sad. Most are simply inane and leave you shaking your head. These are stories you could live without...but you won't want to! Here's the latest:

---Mad Bombers are at it Again. Bombs, car bombs, street bomb, bombs strapped to farm animals and letter bombs certainly aren't news. The real news nowadays is more about the attitude about bombing. In a recent headline, Reuters put a spin on letter bombs: "Letter bombs may aim only to shock."

Okay, I'll let that sink in a moment. If by "shock" you mean that you, the recipient stands a chance of being blown to smithereens...then yes, the headline should stand.

The actual article details a rash of letter bombs sent to agencies which are monitoring traffic regulations. As of this writing seven bombs had been sent to various organizations over a 3-week period.

According to the article, police are wondering if the bomber could be a disgruntled motorist. This elicits a big "you think!" given the target is strictly those who regular motorists. If there is a new spin on this, it's in that the bomber is making a pre-emptive strike. Talk about road rage.

---First cell phones in cars, now IPODs. Can taking our shoes from us be far behind? New York is considering a ban on the use of an IPOD, cell phone or other handheld electrical devise while crossing the street. An offender faces a $100 fine for plugging in and walking.

"This electronic gadgetry...is creating an atmosphere where we have a major public safety crisis at hand," according to New York State Sen. Carl Kruger. Further, Kruger deems this a national crisis saying that people are walking into speeding buses and moving traffic.

If this proposed ban is a reflection of what government officials believe, then maybe it's true that New Yorkers can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Seriously, isn't a ban a bit much? If someone walks into the path of a speeding bus just to catch "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road" on his IPOD, perhaps Darwinism is at play yet again.

---Get in Line, says Bejing government. Ever-polite Asians are being taken to task for not lining up properly. It seems the Chinese are getting a bit pushy and belligerent when it comes to doing the "single file" thing. To get a handle on the "problem" before the Olympics hosted by China in 2008, the Bejing government has instituted a special day to remind and/or teach Bejing residents to toe the line...the single line. The day, on the 11th of each month, is to be known as "voluntarily wait in line" day. This campaign for lining up comes with its own slogan. "It's civilised to queue, it's glorious to be polite."

A stint in a Catholic elementary school would accomplish the same end results. It's just an opinion.

---You're not as safe as you think. We install car alarms and tack a Lojack to the wheel, but there's not much we can do when someone else's car key fits our lock. And that appears to be the case. According to an AP report, a college student in Ohio reported his car stolen. And it was, technically. A woman thought the car belonged to her daughter, so she climbed in, stuck her key in the ignition and took of. Their keys were identical.

You know how there's that warning on your side or rearview mirror: "Objects may appear farther away..."? And the idiot light that makes sounds and flashes a red light if you fail to fasten your seatbelt? Perhaps auto makers will have to install a little hang tag like the handicapped stickers that drape over the rear view mirror. The sign should say, "Are you sure this is your car?"

---Who Thinks This Stuff Up? We have world famine, an AIDS epidemic, war, pestilence, and yet a government decides it's a good idea to come up with a kissing day. On Feb. 10, in the Phillipines, 6,124 couples set the record for the number of couples kissing at the same time. (That's a matter of debate, isn't it, as you can't know what is going on behind closed doors on a Saturday night.) The Phillipines set up the event with confetti, fireworks, balloons, and even a jumbo TV to chronicle it all. Until the Phillipines event, Hungary held the record. I can think of a lot of things I'd like to be Number One in, but kissing en masse?

The Phillipines has set the world record for kissing. Our problems are solved.

Your car may have been stolen by someone who has a key to match your vehicle.