Strategic Serendipitiy: Finding Love When You're Not Looking for It

Maybe you've seen the John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale movie, Serendipity. All about two quirky people who have a chance meeting in NYC (where all good love stories begin). They talk, they bond, they walk away with the commitment that if this is meant to be then fate (or life, or God, or his phone number on a $5 bill) will bring them back together just as unexpectedly as they met. Of course the movie takes us through the prerequisite twists and turns to bring us all back to the moment we crave when love's magic takes over and our two main characters find each other; Part serendipity and part relentless effort from our soul mates and their best friends.

With Valentine's Day less than a month away I got thinking about how we find love. As John Cusack and every other romantic comedy tell us, love is magical. Love will bring two amazing people together in the midst of a city of millions to live happily ever after. The real world tells us that love is magical but the magic is not enough to really live happily ever after. There is an enchanting moment of good fortune that is part of nearly ever couples love story but the meat of the story is usually about the hard work, the tough choices, and the commitment to finding and maintaining a fulfilling relationship. Love is strategic serendipity at its best.

Strategic serendipity, a term that is gaining popularity among social media experts and marketing gurus, means a happy accident that is the result of you strategically putting yourself in the right places and waiting for the right time to happen. It's serendipity plus. Life is full of serendipitous moments; the idea here is that you can increase the likelihood of it happening to you simply by being thoughtful and intentional about the situations you put yourself in and knowing clearly what it is that you want. It's letting go of planning each step but having an end game in mind and taking some initial leaps in the right direction.

Love to read, why not spend one afternoon a week at a local bookstore? Better yet, get to know the owners of the independent bookstore who might introduce you to a local writer who might know a great publishing assistant who introduces you to her brother who is your soul mate. Ok, maybe that's the plot of a great romantic comedy but maybe you'll meet a cute guy in the coffee shop next door. Either way, you can be strategic without giving up the magic of romantic first meetings. Put yourself out there and do so in ways that are thoughtfully planned out and you'd be surprised just how many fortunate accidents you'll find yourself in.

In much the same way that marketing and social media professionals guide their clients, you need to incorporate a purpose with your actions. Ask yourself what your real passions are and what you are hoping to find in your next potential date. Where can you fulfill those passions and develop new ones? Don't look for a good place to meet people; serendipity is about stumbling upon something fortunate when you aren't looking for it. It's about capitalizing on the many unknown factors by living the life you hope to have with your partner now. Engage with the kinds of people you imagine your future wife would be friends with, learn to do things that you'll want to do as a couple, be the person that you are looking for. In the process life is likely to hand you a multitude of happy little accidents and one of them is sure to lead to love... eventually.