Strategies to Deal with Toddler Aggression

Toddlers have a rough life. They are learning new skills every day. Adults keep asking them to perform on demand. They have very limited language skills. Toddlers display little or no impulse control. It is not a big surprise that occasionally they hit, punch, or bite. The reaction of the parent may be what determines if the child continues with this type of aggressive behavior.

There must be some strategies, hints and ideas that we can use as parents to help the angry and aggressive toddler.

~ Learn when to say "no" ~

Most of us have seen the cute little shirt that says "My name is not No-NO". What makes the shirt so funny is how true the statement is in real life. Again and again we our telling our toddlers "no". What are some alternatives?

"Hey, Can I please hold that, it is for older people?" "Thank you. so much for listening. Lets go find a toy that is perfect for you."

"It is not time to go outside now. Lets put the coat up here so we know where it is when it is time to go. Now, can you help me find the towels that we were folding?"

"Oh my goodness. We need to sit on our bottoms in the high chair so we can get belted in and ready for dinner. Thank you for sitting on your bottom. Good listening."

~ Set reasonable boundaries ~

Boundaries give a toddler confidence. Boundaries are set in a serious tone, not by playing games. Turning rules into a game confuses the child. If they are not allowed in the street then the tone and reaction must clearly tell them they can not be there. There can be no playing tone as they get closer to the objectionable behavior. That makes it a game instead of a boundary.

~ Think prevention ~

Begin to look for potential problems and diffuse them before they begin. Use distraction, words, and simply movement to direct a toddler in a different direction. Teach the child to stop and think before any action. It takes a lot of time and paying close attention to catch a toddler just before they make a mistake and try to prevent an action.

~ Consistency is crucial ~

Toddlers model the behavior they see the most. If adults are flying off the handle and becoming loud, abusive and physical this is the behavior the child learns. So keep tempers in check.

~ Consistency is crucial ~

Everyone who deals with the child needs to use the same discipline methods for the best learning. To make it easier for the child consistency is best. They can learn with inconsistencies, but it will be harder for the child and all the caregivers.

Parents and caregivers should occasionally step outside of the situation and remember that a toddler's life changes everyday. Change is not easy. Anything that brings stability helps to lessen the aggression.