Stress and Self-Valuation

In this modern society, we are faced with all sorts of stress everyday. Some people may be able to overcome a high level of stress that most people can hardly endure with; while some may have committed suicide just to escape from their unbearable stressful lives. To counteract the bad stress in our lives, we must first understand the factors that cause us to be stressed. So, why are we getting more and more stressed? Interestingly, one of the greatest causes of stress is the way we value ourselves. Everyone has his/her own self-image and this self-image is formed throughout childhood and adolescence. This image of our own is often influenced by comparison with other people. Nevertheless, we all live in a society in which status and achievement are extremely important and thus we are always pushed to perform better, and to be the fittest. No doubt, a suitable level of competition is good and motivating, but when the urge to achieve and to be acknowledged as successful becomes the main driving force in one's life, then severe stress may lead to ill-health.

Are you one of those who are always frustrated about themselves? Getting more and more stressed and wonder why you are not as good as others? If those are the reasons that make you feel bad everyday, why not have a little change and perceive things in a different way? I believe that by modifying our criterion for self-valuation, we can remove bad stress.

Firstly, it is important to learn how to be quietly alone with yourself, introspect about things that you have done and not doing anything but just simply being yourself. This is a very valuable step towards really getting to know and value yourself. Just being still and quiet for only a few minutes a day, and concentrate on your feelings, is a luxury that we can all afford no matter how busy we are. This doesn't necessarily involve anything complicated at all, and it is not a specific form of meditation.

In fact, the time spent alone, doing nothing, is very important for a relaxed, healthier lifestyle. However, this is quite an alien concept in our society. We are not used to stopping and spend time simply reflecting and feeling. And more often than not, after taking some time to relax, you may have a sense of guilt that you should be out there doing and achieving. One should be reminded that everyone needs sufficient rest if one wishes to travel far. The private time spent relax may give you the benefit more than what you expected. So, do try to take your private break from life at the same time each day and let it be part of your everyday routine.

Another way to change your self-valuation is to gradually stop comparing yourself with others quite so much, and to think of yourself as being unique, which of course you are. You can't make yourself better-looking, brighter, more dynamic, more sophisticated or whatever, by sheer effort, any more than you can make yourself taller or shorter. By trying hard to achieve these blindly, you will only creates stress and self-dissatisfaction. On the other hand, if we begin to accept ourselves more for what we are, and stop constantly comparing ourselves with others, we will be able to liberate ourselves in a way that allows natural growth and development to take place.

Beside this, another common fault of assessing our value is to set materialistic achievement as priority. Many people think that they will be more valuable when they have become materially richer, or have greater recognition and respect and so on. In other words, we assume that self-value is always going to rise tomorrow, when that other thing happens. You have to accept yourself today, as you are, or you will never be good enough in your own eyes. Try to accept the fact that you are a remarkable and individual being and celebrate your differences from others rather than trying to be like them. And being contented with what you already have does not mean that you will have to stop progressing to be a better person.

We have, after all, only a life to live. So, do not waste your time over things that stop you from enjoying your life. Try to love and appreciate what you are.