Structuring Your Life Again After Having a Baby

Your whole life, you dreamed of this day. For nine months, you meticulously planned, carefully researched, and excitedly anticipated the coming of your newborn baby. Now that the miraculous day has come and gone, your life has changed forever! You never knew you could love this much. You also never knew that your house could look this messy, your laundry pile would turn into a mountain, or that you could ever survive such unstructured days. Sound familiar? Welcome to motherhood! However, there is hope if you're finding yourself in an unstructured, disorganized rut.

Obviously, your definition of productivity has changed. What used to be second nature has now become a great feat - things like taking a shower, making the bed, and cooking dinner leave you feeling a great sense of accomplishment, if not a little like you're running in place and completely incapable of getting ahead. Take heart, because millions of mothers have felt just like you. With a few simple tips, you might be able to start getting your head above water and start establishing routine again.

First, it's okay if you don't have much to show for your day. Anybody who has been the mother of a newborn knows that these new people require lots of tender love and care. Don't feel guilty because you're accomplishing only a fraction of what you did before! Remember that by caring for your child, you are giving one of the greatest gifts a person can give. Raising a child is hard work, but it is completely worth it. Let your definition of productivity change for now. In a little while, things will start to feel much more normal again! That said, here are some ways to start bringing structure back into your day.

Begin with a morning routine. Simply write down three to five things you want to accomplish every morning. It doesn't matter if it takes you until noon (or after!) to cross these off your list; don't attempt anything until you have your morning routine finished. These things can (and should!) include things that used to be second nature, such as get dressed, make coffee, and make the bed. My morning routine follows: get dressed (including make-up and jewelry, because being dressed this way makes me feel more motivated), make coffee, make the bed, tidy the house, and start a load of laundry. Just focus on these things for a week. Once you've been able to accomplish your morning routine for a few days in a row, you're probably ready to stretch yourself a little bit further.

Now come up with a nighttime routine. This is a simple list of three to five things you will do every night before you go to bed. As an example, here is my nighttime routine: cook dinner, make my husband's lunch for tomorrow, fold one load of laundry and put it away, do the dishes, and write for thirty minutes. This may seem like a lot, and sometimes I don't get to write or fold the laundry, but I make a real effort to accomplish these things before I go to bed.

Once I was able to establish a morning routine and a nighttime routine after my son was born, I began to feel so much better! Even though I was not taking giant steps forward when it came to my home, I was now accomplishing ten things every day, and most importantly, I was bringing a sense of routine back into my life. This is important for any new mother! If ten things seem too challenging, simply make a list of three things for your morning and nighttime routines. Once you get those routines down, you can add more. Motherhood is all about being stretched to the next level, and the key is just to take one little step at a time!

After these routines have become feasible, it's time to add a daily list to your schedule. After your morning routine, make a list of five things you want to accomplish before dinner. It might simplify things if you make a focus for each day, such as Monday is laundry day, Tuesday you scrub the bathrooms, Wednesday you dust and vacuum, etc., but that will be different for every woman depending on how many children are already in your home, the size of your home, etc. Make your list work for you, and do not feel badly if you don't accomplish everything on that list. Just list your tasks in order of priority, the most urgent task being first on the list, and start from there. Whatever you don't finish, add to the next day. You might consider scheduling a "free day" as well, so that you can have one day to tie up loose ends and complete unfinished tasks. This will help you with damage control, and keep you from ever feeling too defeated.

So much goes into being a new mom. It is not uncommon to feel sad and overwhelmed from time to time. Don't worry about having a spotless house or deep cleaning the refrigerator; a detailed daily schedule is for another time. If you get too ambitious, you might just be setting yourself up for failure! But hopefully these simple ideas will help you to start structuring your day again. Don't forget that babies grow up so fast, and that in just a few months, everything will have drastically changed. You will never get these days back, so treasure them for all their worth! Don't be too hard on yourself. Simple routines provide a great first step to getting back on your feet and feeling like yourself again.