Study Shows Alcohol Shrinks Your Brain

If you drink you tend to exercise more. At least that is what a new study reports. The study notes:

" Among women, those currently using alcohol exercised 7.2 minutes more per week than those who abstained. Relative to abstainers, the more alcohol used, the longer the person exercised. Specifically, light, moderate and heavy drinkers exercised 5.7, 10.1 and 19.9 minutes more per week. Overall, drinking was associated with a 10.1 percent increase in the probability of engaging in vigorous physical activity. The results for men were similar."

Of course if you drink a lot, you are probably walking to a bar. Or the liquor store. Which could easily explain that extra "7.2 minutes per week.'.

But in my quest to ignore reality and to pretend that drinking is good, let's investigate another study. I like the word "investigate". It sounds like I actually did some in-depth research, which none of you believe for a minute.

Here is the other good news. Drunks tend to be happier.

Okay the study didn't say that, but it did note that drinkers tend to be happier than non-drinkers. Or to quote from the study:

"Researchers also found that non-drinkers reported having fewer friends than drinkers did, which might explain their increased odds of being depressed."

The study found that non-drinkers tend to be " ...less socially well-adjusted than other groups" Generally when people are with friends, it is more acceptable in Western societies to drink than not to drink... a number of other studies also confirm that teetotalers experience some level of social exclusion. "

See isn't that good news. Perhaps Humphrey Bogart was right when he said. "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."

Of course in the interest of balanced reporting, we can't ignore the study that says drinking has one little draw-back. It shrinks your brain. And I don't know about you, but my brain probably can't shrink anymore.

The study said , "Drinking heavy amounts of alcohol over a long period of time may decrease brain volume, according to research that was presented at the American Academy of Neurology's 59th Annual Meeting in Boston,.. The study found the more alcohol people drink on a regular basis, the lower their brain volume."

Whoops, don't you just hate studies like that?

But I did love the way scientists phrase their findings. Instead of saying alcohol makes you stupid and you wind up proposing to women, jumping off bridges naked and prank-calling your boss at midnight, all signs that show that alcohol ain't exactly a brain booster, the study is more tactful.

"However, this study found that greater alcohol consumption was negatively correlated with brain volume," said study author Carol Ann Paul, MS, of Wellesley College in Wellesley, MA.

"Negatively correlated with brain volume..."?

Gotta love that phrase. Can you imagine a scientist being pulled over for drunk driving? "Sorry, officer, I was not driving drunk, I was just experiencing alcohol's negative correlation on my brain. "

"And officer, I think my brain may be shrinking..."

Center For Advancing Health (2009, September 8). Drinkers More Physically Active Than Abstainers. ScienceDaily. Retrieved September 2, 2010, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2009/09/090908105323.htm

The Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) (2009, August 28). Teetotalers More Likely To Be Depressed Than Moderate Drinkers. ScienceDaily. Retrieved September 2, 2010, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2009/08/090827123518.htm

American Academy of Neurology (2007, May 3). Drinking Heavy Amounts Of Alcohol Shrinks Your Brain. ScienceDaily. Retrieved September 2, 2010, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2007/05/070502172317.htm