Stumbling Upon....Freaks, Government Conspiracies, and Christmas Shopping

In a sane society, women wearing only suspenders would not rob 18-year old men. Do you think there's anything the least bit fishy about this? Imagine for a minute that perhaps this young man MAY have fabricated a few details here. I mean, wouldn't it have made more sense to send the hotties out to stop him first? At least , he didn't claim they were wearing cow suits or that he was attacked with a tweezers. It's no wonder that Prozac remains such a popular script some 15-20 years after it was first introduced -- there are some weirdos out there.

After reading this article, I no longer wonder why there are fewer than 80-sword swallowers left in the world. I mean, given the bad pub around it being a "magicians trick" would scare anyone off, you know?

On another site, I reported on the idea that aluminum foil caps may actually magnify the government's attempt to read your mind instead of blocking them. Now, we learn that the military is actually working on "thought helmets," for secure communication between troops. Yeah, nothing scary about that action... Perhaps we could all go to the new Stadium in Doha, Qatar to keep the mind rays from getting us. After all, I understand those mind control rays can't penetrate solid ground just yet. And you thought Superman hung out where he did just to chill out -- no way man, he was getting away from "The Man." Whatever you do, avoid those black helicopters. They're bad news.

Curiously enough, you'd think a guy named Morrissey would be a little more into the Smiths, yet, not so much. Also curiously enough, I'm also into conspiracy theory and X-Files crap. We here in the States have grown up with the whole Abraham Lincoln/John Kennedy coincidences, but I bet you -- my dear American reader -- have not heard of the strange coincidences of Morrissey and Princess Diana. And just for the record, there is a good reason I specifically chose to link the particular Lincoln/Kennedy page that I did.

Believe it or not, Christmas is rapidly approaching. If you haven't already seen the fake trees and ornaments being stocked at your local Target, you heard it here first. Now, you may want to get started with your shopping online -- you know, to avoid the rush. But as selective as you may be with your online life, you can sometimes run into trouble buying online. I mean, you just never know what you might find on eBay. This guy thought he was buying a new camera -- another reason to be wary of "the man."

Since you're chilling out here on AC, you're probably thinking you're just a little too well heeled for eBay junk -- I mean, Manny Ramirez can only really have one grill and it's not every day a 1984 Miss Alaska contestant puts a luxury jet up for auction, so the likelihood of getting some quality graft is slim. This being the case, and knowing you're just looking to get some of that cash that's burning a hole in your pocket (probably because you've successfully emptied your stock portfolio so you can put your money into less risky vehicles, such as your old mattress, or to use sensibly, such as burning it to heat your home this winter), you can always find a deal on a Triton 1000 Luxury Submersible. Surely there's SOMEONE on your Christmas shopping list who has been asking for a personal submarine, and when you can grab one up for under $1.7 Million, Secretary Paulson may just be knocking at your door asking how you were able to pull it together.

Perhaps your college student needs a new computer. Nothing says "love" more than a million dollar notebook...or bacon. I have to admit the idea of bacon flavored dental floss really does make it more likely that I will continue to have teeth into my 40's. Don't you want that for those on your Christmas list, too?

I've enjoyed our time together this evening, but I've got this funny tingling sensation on my arm that I have to get looked at. Thanks for stopping by and c'mon back, now, ya hear?