Stupidity About Town: The Real Life Adventures of a Smart Ass in a Dumb World

It may be the full moon. It may be karma. Stupidity seems to be stalking me this week. Maybe I'm just acutely aware of stupidity recently, but these are real events that reached out and slapped me in the stupid this week.

Reading in the restroom
While my wife was in the oral surgeon's chair, I stepped across the hall to the men's restroom only to discover this sign, "Do not flush sanitary napkins down the toilet." I fully understand the diaper changing station in the men's room. Lord knows I changed my share of diapers. Seriously though, sanitary napkins? How metrosexual are men becoming? Maybe this is an alternative to the third bathroom marked "?" for transgenders.

Advertising for the visually impaired
As I distractedly browsed the drug store shelves, waiting for a prescription to be filled, I ran across a sales schpeel of teeny, tiny print attached to the reading glasses. I assume it was like that to encourage me to test the glasses. Seems it would make more sense to have a 42" flat screen with dancing hamsters to sell reading glasses, but that's just me.

Yar! Pharmacy ahoy!
Time to fill the 20-pill prescription mentioned above: 40 minutes. Excuses by the pharmacy staff: The computer is down. There are 15 people ahead of you. We don't care that your wife just came from oral surgery and the anesthetic is wearing off. Apparently, without technology, a heart, and a brain no one can count to 20. The pharmacy is in Oz, by the way.

It's just a pizza
Ordering a pizza from Dominos became a joyless chore. Their web site can't give me any useful information like the phone number of the nearest store. They want me to order online. To do so, they want me to create an account complete with password. It's a damn pizza not my money-market fund! I'm not trying to launch missiles. I just want a pizza. Screw it. Where's the phone?

I love you now go kill yourself
I reminded my wife, "The Sudafed^® is on the counter." She misheard and repeated, "The suicide is on the counter?" With my face in my palm, I replied, "I guess that depends on how many pills you take." Note to self, buy a better phone or I could be in big trouble.

Where's my baguette?
I must remember to grab a baguette while shopping at the market. Not that I'm particularly fond of baguettes. It's just I need a weapon for the check-out. Yet again, I got behind Ms. Oblivious at the supermarket. She waited for the total to be announced before she started fishing in her wallet for her coupons. She then waited for the amended total to be announced before trying to retrieve her debit card. Maybe it's good I didn't have the baguette or I would have beaten her until her retinas detached. I have ice cream here! Ms. Oblivious doesn't know what happened to poor Edna Mercy.

It's been a completely stupid week with a full moon thrown in for good measure. How are things in your neck of the stupid woods?