"Stupor Bloopers"

We, as humans, walk (or sometimes run) through the natural progression of life. I assume that most of us have tried in earnest to abide by sound behavior rules of thumb. (Don't we???) Hmmm -- But upon reflection I have definite memories etched in my mind of having unintentionally misbehaved. (the key word being "unintentional)

My invented term for just such a faux pax is a "Stupor Blooper!" It means that you essentially want to behave, but then you accidentally misbehave,thereby, causing a "Stupor Blooper!" The cause behind it is that your brain is temporarily drenched in fear that leaves you in a stupor. You then shock yourself by your reaction to the situation. If you are someone who typically likes to behave, you are then left trying to understand your actions and promising yourself you'll not ever let it happen again. (yeah, right!)The welcome relief is that our justification for "Stupor Bloopers" is called being human -- whew!

I have a memory, as a five year old, of being on an elevator in a department store with my mother. I remember standing at the back of the elevator, as I noticed the doors were on the way to tightly closing. Suddenly, I had this strong sense of utter entrapment. Sooo -- .here's what I did. Some strange involuntary force caused me to bolt out of the elevator, as the doors were closing. I didn't mean to cause anguish and upset for my mother. I, however, had no choice but to relieve myself from being trapped in a big box that moved up and down vertically -- with doors that could quite possibly get stuck and never open up again.(right?)

Ok -- on to another one of my "Stupor Bloopers!" I was innocently lying in the dental recliner, as the dentist and his assistants prepared me for the beginning a root canal on me. I had never had one before and didn't know quite what to expect. Being that it was just two years ago, I was essentially an all grown up adult (?) and not a scared five year old on an elevator. So there I lay semi-ready for what was to come my way. Then -- .I could feel a big (to me it felt HUGE) strip of something??? was being draped across my mouth. They said it was called a rubber dam and was designed to keep germs from infiltrating while they worked on me.

And here's when my "Stupor Blooper" instinctively began to surface again. Logically, I knew that my dentist was not planning on smothering me. However, (illogically) I felt that I could stop breathing at any moment. Yikes! My brain was in full "Stupor Blooper" format. Here's what I did to combat the feeling -- are you ready? Here goes -- I impulsively reached up and ripped it off my face! I could hardly believe what I had done and began apologizing profusely. In total embarrassment I said, "I'm so sorry! Am I the worst patient you've ever had?" They said that I was not (thank goodness.) They had had ones who had ripped it off and then run out of the room. At least I had stayed stationary. They were quite kind to me in spite of my ridiculous behavior. Whew!

And then -- only a few short months after misbehaving at the dentist office, I had another "Stupor Blooper" event -- only there were thousands of people watching. However, this time, my behavior was not manifested in fear, but instead I just "misunderheard" (I invented that word) which caused a "Stupor Blooper" to occur. I was attending my son's graduation from Air Borne School in Fort Benning, Georgia. He had learned to "leap out" of airplanes -- thank goodness no "Stupor Bloopers" occurred for him as he was sailing through the sky.

The graduation ceremony was being held outside on a football field. All the family members proudly watched as their sons and daughters marched out on the field. The speaker did a beautiful job explaining their endeavors. I then thought I heard (the key word being "thought") him say something about the parents coming to the center of the field. I noticed that people were converging on the field, as their offspring came up to proudly stand beside them. I turned to the man behind me and asked what he said. He said, "You need to go out there, if you're a parent." I immediately jumped up and walked to the center of the field. Hmmm -- ..where was my son, I wondered??

I stood there alone for a few more minutes with still no sign of my son approaching to stand beside me. I gently leaned towards the man beside me and asked the point of our being out there. He said, "Oh, this is for the parents who have graduated from Air Borne School in the past." Oh, dear -- I didn't recall having ever jumped out of an airplane in my life?? (I can barely stay in an elevator).I had definitely made a "Stupor Blooper." Now -- here's what I did to get out of my monstrous mess. I turned ever-so slowly (in a complete stupor) and slinked slowly off the field, hoping I was invisible. Unfortunately, my son had noticed it all and he will never let me live it down. My "Stupor Blooper" will be laughing fodder for an eternity, I suspect. You may point and laugh at me, as well -- as you should!