Subway Workers Locate Extraterrestrial Vehicle While Digging Subway Tunnel

"Monkeys could have written this one, too. I guess I'm the monkey writing this one...", thought R.Z. Smythe, while slowly sloshing through the mud and water of the subway tunnel slowly being dug, who worked full-time for the New York Times, part-time as a construction worker, and once a month for the Army Reserve.

Everyone was trying to blast through a very stubborn area of what was apparently a thick wall of rock. The previous mile of subway digging had gone smoothly, however, this wall was taking days to accomplish, as much time as what usually took for the digging of ten miles of tunnel.

A mile back, and a week ago, the body of a large elephant had been found, complete with what looked to be a carriage, in relatively decrepit condition. This was at first to be covered by the local news, then, was not, thus, a lot of people wondered what was ahead. Carbon-14 dating had shown the corpse to be relatively recent, dating back to the 1920's, wheras the costume and adornments of the finds has apparently been from the 17th or 18th century, as far as styling was concerned. Thus, there was no definitive story, just a muddled mess of facts that did not fit.

Prior to using explosives to detonate whatever rock or something must have been back there, there was the testing to be done. The testing, like a rotten Stromboli roll, languished forever.

A lump in Smythe's stomach, like three day old diner espresso grounds, became pervasive when he saw the thermal scanner. He did not know whether to burp or fart at the size of this bazooka-sized thing.

This is a sensitive topic, it has to be handled carefully. "Hey, no way, you are gonna blast a hole in that thing. It could be one of those Man from Mars spaceships or something.", Smythe found himself blurting out.

Extraterrestrial spaceship, my wife's salami, it's the Taj Mahal.