Succeed Leading Groups of Kids

When you work with kids in a group, whether at daycare, Sunday school, or camp, these guidelines will help you keep control of the group, help the kids have a fun, and make sure everyone is safe.

Communicate. Set clear, concrete rules from the beginning. Use short sentences and easy words so kids know exactly what you want them to do. Also explain what consequences they'll face if they disobey. Depending on their age, you can explain the rationale behind certain rules. But make it clear how they are to act and what will happen if they don't.

End the negotiations. Refuse to bargain with children. Remember, you are the adult; they are the kids. You make the decisions, and they live with them. Don't give kids the power to make deals, or you'll lose your power to control.

Establish consequences. Decide - and communicate - what the consequences for disobedience are, and when a child disobeys, follow through. Don't make threats you can't or won't follow through on, because if the child disobeys, he or she will see you're not serious about punishment.

Stay in control of yourself. Keep your voice calm and even. Don't lose your temper. Don't yell or scream; if you need to raise your voice to be heard, make it strong and even, and maintain it only long enough to lower the volume of the kids so you can be heard again. A soft, strong voice is more threatening to a child than a high-pitched scream.

Keep kids busy. Plan lessons and collect supplies ahead of time. Have books, toys, and activities kids can do if you do need a moment to deal with an individual or if there's other down-time in the program. Have things for kids to do who finish group activities, such as art projects or lunch, early. Time without activity equals time to run amuck. Preempt the craziness by making sure kids' time is never unfilled.

Get physical...safely. Absolutely never use physical violence on a child or do anything that might even accidentally hurt him or her, such as grabbing hard by the arm or pushing. But especially with small children, emphasizing commands by physically directing the child can be effective. For example, tell a child to go take a seat while gently guiding him or her by the shoulders to the table. (This works only if the child is compliant; again, never physically force a child to do something in a way that could hurt him or her.)

Foresee problems. See your planned day through the eyes of a child. Are there activities that are likely to end in disaster? Will an art supply you plan you use tempt a child to eat something he or she shouldn't? Plan frequent bathroom breaks, think about how much supervision each activity will take (and bring in the reserves when necessary), visualize your kids doing things. In this way, stop problems before they start.

Avoid deadly combinations. Have two kids that get in trouble all the time? Don't put them together. Have a flirty, wild boy and a sensitive, whiny girl? Keep them apart. Don't always make the good kids suffer by sticking them by the trouble makers, but do avoid putting kids together who are going to constantly get each other in trouble.

Punish and reward individuals. Avoid group rewards, like ice cream for everyone if no one gets in trouble by Friday. Similarly, avoid group punishment, such as silent lunch if one person (or even most people) misbehaves. Such treatment lets troublemakers off the hook because they don't get punished; everyone gets punished. There's no embarrassment factor, no sense of wanting to be good so they can be over with the other kids, having fun. And group treatment also destroys any motivation the obedient kids have for continuing to obey. If they're quiet but everyone else is loud, they get punished. So they may as well act how they want, if they're going to be punished no matter what.

Start fresh. Whether you keep score of offenses with a chart or just in your head, make clear that every day is a new day. Don't treat a student poorly Wednesday because he or she acted badly Tuesday. Kids will act how you expect them to act. If you expect bad behavior, they will deliver. But if you let them know you expect them to be good kids - and act like you're already pleased with them - they will be more likely to act like good kids.