Successful Step-Parenting Begins with Patience and Communication

Step-parenting can be difficult. Take it from me because I know what is entailed with the journey of being a step-parent. My wife has two sons and, through my experience, I have learned a considerable amount of the do's and do not's it takes to become a successful step-parent.

Parenting is one of the most rewarding and exhausting experiences for any person. It requires time, patience, and self-sacrifice. Step-parenting takes exactly those same measures. The relationship forged with step-children does not happen overnight. Some people want to have an instant bond with the child, but it doesn't work that way. If you think about it, in what situations is there any kind of bond with another human that happens instantaneously? Natural birth might be the only way, but even in that there was nine-months of the baby living in uterus.

One of my step-sons has a new step-mother who turned him off by trying to be his best friend right away. Now, you don't want to be an enemy from the get-go, but you really need to ease into your role. Start by asking questions, which is a great way to begin a relationship with anyone. Allow the child to start talking about areas in which he is interested. Of course, there is also a certain degree of reading your new step-child. If he seems reluctant or gives very short answers, back off for a little bit. Remember, it isn't a race and there isn't any finish line. The whole process is an ongoing journey.

In addition to time and patience, self-sacrifice comes into play. This means that sometimes it is important to do what the child wants to do. If, for example, your new step-son enjoys playing laser tag, but it's not your cup of tea, show him that you are willing to do it, and with a good attitude. If you step-daughter has a choir concert that is important to her, go to it and, afterwards, provide encouragement. Actions like these will go a long way towards creating a bridge of trust. With established trust, the relationship will be stronger and very rewarding.

Finally, don't forget to communicate with your spouse. Communication is vital to any relationship and they will appreciate being asked for their input or advice. The two of you are a team and communicating will make you a successful one!

If you follow these bits of advice, it will help ease your transition into the role of step-parent and make things easier for both you and the child.