Suffering from Teenage-A-Litis? Tips How to Outwit Your Teenager

"Meanest Mom in the world sells teenage-son's car". It was on the news: Mom found booze in the booth of her teen-aged son's car, and so put an ad in the news-paper to sell the car. I don't know this lady, but I'm sure if she lived in my street we could have had many cups of coffee together! My son is thankfully an adult now, but I had to resort to measures like that as well. I like to give you some tips here, because all of you out there with teen-agers sure are suffering. So before you grab the Prozac I will tell you how to survive, and stay sane.

When my son was 18 he wanted a car. Going on the bus was not really a "babe-magnet" (translation:cool)so no option. Saving the money up was "impossible", according to my beloved son. Life was very expensive, according to him, although he had a job and frankly more money in his pocket than us. So, after son had perused many glossies on the subject, and became an expert, he made his decision. "I really want a VR4" he announced. We are no experts at all and are already pleased we can find the steering-wheel, mumbled something. For all of you out there who have no idea what it is either :it is a supped-up car that has a lot of stickers on it and out-races all cops and possibly even helicopters.An enormous exhaust-noise precedes the car by about 10 miles, so the cops do know when one is coming, so that is very reassuring, I have to say that, as parent.

The trick was, we had to pay. Somehow that always comes up with bright ideas from teen-agers.So off we went, in my "grandmothers"car, to the car-yard. My son engaged a mechanic in a conversation, extolling the virtues of the VR4. He took the mechanic on a stroll through the car-yard, pointing out this car and that car. The mechanic was not stupid; he opened all the bonnets and looked inside. Some of the engines were held together with Duct-tape! After seeing 20 supped-up cars, I had seen it all. It was my money; I wanted him to have a decent car, preferably one that didn't go over 50km Ph, with enormous bumpers for safety and airbags. The mechanic found one, checked the engine and the like and said that this car was a good buy for a reasonable price. So I bought that one. Yes, the car was bought in my name, and it still is. This, P.O.T.A (parents of teen-agers) is a very good idea. They cannot sell it and spend the money on an unsafe rust bucket that way.

My son was supposed to pay for all on-the-road costs. A check-up every six months was one of them. I don't know where you live, but here you get a hefty fine if the cops see there's one sticker missing on the front-window. After a while it happened: no check-up. Life was expensive said son,he couldn't afford the check-up and so he drove around without this sticker. I had night-mares over the car; in my mind the brakes were not working, my son ending up in hospital. After many rather loud discussions over this subject, I warned him what I was going to do. And this is what I did:

I chained the car to the lamp-post, with a lock. When my son woke up, I warned him the car was chained and he couldn't drive it until that sticker was on the window. Still a bit sleepy, he nodded and opened the car-door, got in and turned the key! There was a screech of tires burning, the neighbors ran out the doors,pandemonium in the street! The lamppost held firm. My son, 2 shades paler got out the car, absolutely speechless. He'd never expected that!

But the check-up was done the next day and every 6 months after that. Am I a mean Mom? No, my job is to keep him safe. Does he still love me? Of course!