Suggestions for Caregivers for Someone Beginning to Experience Dementia

We often laugh and joke about the first signs of forgetfulness in ourselves and others. This amusement can quickly turn to concern when we begin to wonder if this forgetfulness could be the onset of Alzheimer's Disease (AD). Or possibly it could be dementia or senility. Just what is the difference among these three? A brief visit to the Internet cleared up the confusion for me. Dementia covers a multitude of diseases and Alzheimer's Disease is one of them. Senility happens to most people as they age. It is simply a decline in mental functioning. Since AD cannot be conclusively determined without an autopsy, it is more accurate to describe a person as having probable or possible AD. AD is a set of symptoms that vary in rate of progression and type from person to person.

The early stages of Alzheimer's Disease range from forgetting where one puts things such as house or car keys to a decreased ability to perform complex tasks such as handling finances. These are also the signs of early dementia. It is in these early stages, while an elderly person is still living alone, that he or she can experience some serious difficulties. For one thing they are ripe to be manipulated by unscrupulous people. There are telemarketers and service providers who will take advantage of the elderly in order to make a quick buck. I experienced several occasions of such dastardly deeds when my elderly aunt started her journey down the road to dementia. Through my experiences I learned some steps to take to help prevent the elderly from falling prey to these people.

My aunt lived alone well into her 80's, so she was a prime candidate for unscrupulous salespeople. Her first encounter was with a handyman who advertised in the town newspaper. She had a problem with water in her basement. It was not a serious problem nor did it need much more than a sump pump to fix it. The handyman, however, charged her a $9000 down payment, with another $6000 due after completion of the job. He even took my aunt to the bank and had her get a cashier's check. Fortunately in a more lucid moment my aunt told her family about it and we were able to get her money back for her.

To prevent scams like this from happening, it is important to take control of the finances of the elderly. The first step is to appoint a Power of Attorney (POA) and put bank accounts in the POA's name; or at the very least have joint accounts. This prevents the elderly cashing a check without the approval of the POA.

There are other problems when dealing with early dementia. A caregiver learns how to deal with these problems through trial and error. Here are some more coping techniques that I learned. In these early stages of dementia, the elderly often forget to pay bills or pay them twice. They need help with this job but it is necessary to allow them to stay active in the process. Each month I would write the checks for my aunt's bills and have her sign them. If you asked her who took care of her finances, she would reply that she did.

My aunt often misplaced her house keys. We've all done this so initially I was amused with her forgetfulness. After it became an every day occurrence, I stopped laughing and bought a wrist band for her keys. This worked for awhile.

The elderly are also easy prey for telemarketers, as well as junk mail ads and television advertising. My aunt saw an ad on TV for a home gym and decided that was something she wanted. She ordered it by phone. While paying her bills one day, I discovered a recurring charge on her credit card bill for this gym. After quizzing my aunt, I discovered the unopened home gym box in her basement. Credit card companies are helpful and I was able to get most of the charges refunded; but not all. The home gym was picked up by the company and my aunt was very relieved.

My aunt had several magazine subscriptions and was constantly getting reminders to renew her subscriptions. Each time she would get a reminder, she would send out a check. She was paid up for several years, more years than she would probably live. The Post Office has the address for Direct Mail. By writing to them you can stop the delivery of junk mail. I eventually had my aunt's mailing address changed to mine. This way I could monitor her mail and make sure bills were paid on time.

One of the biggest concerns regarding the elderly is how to get them to stop driving. After a frightening incident, I eventually had to take the car keys from my aunt. Her car remained in the driveway, however, and she thought that she still drove the car. That satisfied her need to continue to think she was independent.

My aunt was fiercely independent, having lived alone most of her life. She was not unique, I am sure, in her desire to want to remain in her own home. My family and I did our best to respect her wishes. My aunt probably remained in her home far beyond what was safe for her. I hired some supplementary caregivers but my aunt did not want strangers in her house and often refused them entry. After noticing that she was not eating properly and even forgetting how to prepare simple foods, I ordered Meals on Wheels for her. She had a gas stove and eventually I had to have the gas turned off because her ineptitude with cooking was creating a fire hazard.

Another concern with the elderly is their wandering off and becoming lost. My aunt did this a couple of times. After the first scare, I put name and address labels in her coat pockets. The Alzheimer Association has a Safe Return program along with Medic Alert for people who wander. I did not enroll my aunt in the program because by this time the family knew it was time for my aunt to move into assisted living.

The most heartbreaking time of care giving is when you have to make different living arrangements for your loved one. Knowing that they want to remain in their home makes it very difficult to choose the next level of care. It cannot be a quick decision and involves research and facility visits and evaluation of the needs of the loved one. The lowest level of care is independent living. With independent living the resident has their own apartment and can go to a dining room for meals. They are free to come and go as they please. My aunt was beyond that level. The next level is assisted living. With assisted living the resident has a room, but eats all meals in a central dining room. Their health and hygiene needs are taken care of by the staff. My aunt qualified for assisted living for about a year. Once a resident gets to the point of needing more physical assistance and more medical attention the next level is nursing home care.

When it came time for my aunt to move to a nursing home, my family consulted with an eldercare counseling service before touring prospective homes. The consultants gave us a list of homes they felt were good ones. They also provided us with suggestions of what to look for and what questions to ask when we toured homes. What they thought to be most important was to look at the home through my aunt's eyes. They suggested sampling the food; checking out the dining room; being aware of noises, smells and sounds. A helpful suggestion is to check out the restrooms in the lobby. Check out the residents' physician, who it is, how long they've been with the home and how often they are at the home. The consultants also set up the evaluation process which is called a PRI.

Being a caregiver is both a rewarding and difficult job. If you are the caregiver, it is a frightening glimpse into what could eventually be your future. If you are the one receiving the care, it is frightening to watch your freedoms vanish one by one. There are no easy answers but there are many organizations out there to help.