Suicide Doesn't Equate to "Parent of the Year"

Seven story parking garage ~16th and Tremont ~16th Street Mall ~ Denver, Colorado......this Sunday afternoon, around 3:00 p.m.....the Broncos were losing to the Jaguars....16th Street Mall was bustling with Sunday afternoon shoppers and tourists just happy to be out and about in the pleasant sunshine. Apparently the sun wasn't shining for one such person and definitely not for the the security guard nor a young child nor the passerbys walking on a sidewalk below the seven story parking garage as one woman tragically decided to end her life while her young child watched.

I work in the building directly across from said parking garage. I heard the sirens of police, firetrucks and ambulances as they drove the wrong way down Tremont. The sight of the firetrucks going the wrong way on Tremont is what caught my attention. I rushed to the opposite window, facing the scene. I watched, tearfully, as emergency personnel struggled to save this young woman's life. As a flight attendant, I am certified in CPR, so I was aware of the measures they were valiantly pursuing to revive this young lady. From my vantage point, it was evident this woman was very young. While one can never fully understand the difficulties and struggles a mind on the verge of suicide must be experiencing, I did mentally note the oddity of someone bent on ending their life but coordinating her clothes to match, the day of, i.e. her pink socks matched her pink shirt. We as women certainly know the significance of coordinating colors. I absolutely mean no disrespect here, whatsoever. Did something happen that day to change her viewpoint on life? Or did she wake up and decide that "today was the day?" Did anyone know? Did anyone care?

Even more saddening, while my attention was initially drawn to the rescue personnel on the ground, a quick movement caught my eye on the top of the parking garage. I saw a young child looking over to the sidewalk below and I remember thinking "Who would allow their child to be sightseeing off the roof of a parking garage?" It seemed quite dangerous to me. I later discovered it was the young woman's son. How absolutely tragic that, not only had mom disappeared but, the scene upon looking over the railing must have been absolutely devastating to this young child. There were also two women on the roof of the garage, obviously witnesses, because they were describing, with hand gestures, this young woman's demise. Were they passerbys who attempted to lend aid to her after her fall or were they watching from the roof?

Shortly, it became clear that this young woman's valued life could not be saved. While she clearly felt it had no value, I as but a stranger participating in but a brief moment of her life, believe she is valued. As a mother, as young woman, as a daughter, as a grand daughter, as someone's co-worker, as someone's wife or girlfriend...who was she? What would I have said if I had happened to meet her on the street before she made her way devastatingly one last time, up those stairs to the top of the parking garage? Would I have known? Would I have paid any attention to her if I passed her on the street? Shame on me, if I wouldn't have. I am a Communication major for just that reason. No, perhaps I couldn't save lives, but, as I encounter people on a daily basis on my bus rides, in my building's elevator, or in my work place, could I show someone that regardless of status, income or station in life they are valued? I smile very easily and I try to share eye contact and a big grin with each person I meet.

I don't wish to trivialize this issue, in any way. I experienced the heart wrenching loss of my mother two years ago this coming November. I can personally attest to being completely rocked to your core that you cannot imagine how or why to go on. Even two years later, admittedly I have not completely come to terms with this void in my life. I suppose that what I chose to do with this void will determine how I come to terms with her being gone. I absolutely cannot imagine being a young child and dealing with this loss this early in life.

My heart broke as I watched the rescue workers place the tell-tale white sheet over her body. I was struck by how alone she appeared on that sidewalk. No family, no friends, no supporters to stand by and wait with her until the coroner arrived. While she must have felt tragically alone in life, she was even more so alone in death. My heart goes out to her family and friends who could not be by her side in this final moment. Did they know? How sad that strangers were there to lend aid in her last moments and not those who cared for her the most.

While writing this article, I researched this topic online and tragically found that around the same time as this young woman pursued her feelings of no value, a massive suicide-prevention walk was held in Lakewood. Second Wind Fund's Sixth Annual Walk/Run/Ride was held at Green Mountain High School in Lakewood, and was touted as one of the largest suicide-prevention events in the country. How truly sad these resources didn't make it to her in time.

I write this article and share my thoughts and feelings as a tribute to you who so tragically believed you had no other options.