Suicide Poems

If I died, would you even know?
Just one little bullet, one single blow.

What am I to you, except a pain.
If I were dead, you would probably gain.

Am I the only one who feels this way?
Should I go on to see another day?

I'm confused, my life's a mess.
With death, comes no stress.

Would anyone even cry?
I bet all eyes would stay dry.

Sometimes I wish I could end it-
If death was meant for me...
I wish God would send it.

Why?

Why do I always wanna die?
Is it because this world is full of hate?

Why do I always cry?
Is it because no one bothers to see my inner beauty?

Why do I always cut myself?
Is it because i would rather have physical pain than inner pain?

Why do people always leave me by myself?
Is it because I am not a pleasant person to be around?

Why do I always cry myself to sleep every night?
Is it because God took away my only love?

Why is it, when i'm sad I always grab the knife?
Is it because I want to be with my love again?

Why do I always make the wrong decisions in my life?
Is it because I want attention?

Why do I always start the fight?
Is it because no one understands me?

Why do I sometimes make myself hurl?
Is it because i would rather be hungry?

Why am I such an unhappy girl?
Is it because I have gone through so much pain when i'm only 14?

Why am I about to kill myself?
Is it because no one bothers to listen to me?

Why are the lights getting dimmer?
Is it because i'm about to die?

I guess so...

Red

You hid your secret so deep inside that it didn't show.
You were so sweet and happy, how were we supposed to know?
Now you're gone, and we're too late.
Our hearts are filled with woe, frustration, and hate.

Your voice and our memories continue to fade.
I wish there were some way I could change the choice you made.
I want you to still be here, even as a ghost.
By ending your pain, you took what we needed most.

Anything sad will remind us and bring all the pain back.
There's no escape from the anguish in our hearts that is black.
Why couldn't you have just hung in there?
Why did you just not care?

No words could ever express the deep sadness in our eyes.
It's just too much to bear when someone you love dies.

who is she?

laughter and crying, memories and pain,
our precious love, no longer remains.

hugs and kisses, we once did share,
but now you're saying that you don't care.

who is she standing in my place,
who is she, with a smile on her face?

the gun in my hand, my final goodbye,
now the blood drips from my eyes.

i collapse on the floor, barely alive,
waiting for my death to arrive.

with a smile on my face, everything starts to fade,
flashback and memories or the love we made.

all of a sudden you appear,
take my body and hold me near.

you want me back, i hear you say,
but my mind is weak, and has gone away.

my lifeless body, against your chest,
my pale cheeks, you start to caress.

you put the gun against your head,
I love you baby, were the last words you said.

you pull the trigger, you squeeze my hand,
we've lost each other once again.

Agony and Defeat

"What is the use?"
You hear me say
I take the abuse
Day after day

She takes my heart,
My feelings, my love
And tears them apart
Isn't that enough?

No, then she pretends
That nothing is wrong
I wish it would end
It's gone on too long

But at the same time
I love her so much
I want her to be mine
To feel her warm touch

And yet it's just
A simple fantasy
To face the truth
I must accept reality

She is not mine
It was never meant to be
It's the end of the road
Not for her, but for me

I can't go on
Feeling this way
All I have is gone
This is my last day

To all who love me
And will miss me, I say,
"I love you all."
But it's better this way...

My Final Goodnight

I took the pills
to stop the pain-
I drew the curtains
to quiet the rain.

I sat down on the couch
to relax my feet-
My story was sad
hard and discrete.

I sat for a moment
then the room quickly spun-
I knew at that time
the end had begun.

A single tear fell
not anymore-
Then with a loud crash
my glass hit the floor.

I lay down on the couch
and shut my eyes tight-
Then with my last breath
whispered my final good-night.

Life

I know times are hard; it seems like everything is going wrong
You feel like nobody cares
But to fight the pain, you have to be strong

You're hurting inside and nobody knows
During the day, you hide your feelings
But at night, it all shows

Lying on your bed, recalling the memories of the day
It brings tears to your eyes
When you think that way

Trying so hard to hold back the tears
You don't know what to do
The negative thoughts are all you hear

Holding back your tears doesn't stop the pain
You finally give up
And let them fall like rain

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking your life must come to an end
You realize all the hurt and pain you'd cause your family and friends

Caring so much about what they would go through
You change your mind
Worried about the crazy things they would do

Looking back on things you've done
You should be proud of yourself
And the woman you've become

You are and always will be my best friend
But without you
My life would also come to an end

Life Is A Prison

Life is a prison,
Oh God let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.

Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.

Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.

Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.

Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.

Cell walls built by society,
With rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
You had better beware.

Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.

Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.

Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.

So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?

You can't.

Warped & Twisted

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

Darkness

I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I yell for help but no one is there to hear it
I begin to see the water at eye level
and I kick and flail
fighting to stay above the darkness
But the darkness won't let go of its hold on me
and I slowly begin to give in
to the feeling that lies below the water line
the waters starts to fill my lungs
the lungs that once held so much life
yet now they allow the murky water to replace that
I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness
But why doesn't someone grab my hand
pull me from darkness's grasp?
because no one knows I stand at the boundary
the boundary between light and dark
so I give in to the thing that holds me
All of the strength and all of the courage
that I once held in my heart
can't save me from the water
So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness
undetected by the occupants of that world
I don't want to fight anymore
I've given into darkness

Something Must Be

Something must be wrong with me
with all this hurt inside,
always bursting with anger,
and never any pride.

Something must be wrong with me
if all I do is cry,
I can't stop this pain
all I want to do is die.

Something must be wrong with me
if my emotions run wild,
all this confusion does
is make me feel like a lost child.

Something must be wrong with me
with all these terrible things,
always there and never gone
depression is what it brings.

Something must be wrong with me
if I can't stop these thoughts,
all this pain does
is turn my stomach in knots.

Something is truly wrong with me
when I think there's only one way out,
"Let this pain end,"
is all my heart will shout.

Death Not Being The Way

I held the knife so close to my heart.
Like a foolish child I sat and I cried,
Didn't realize what I had done, what I had tried.
Tears mixed with blood, falling slowly to the ground.
Covered in blood, pulled myself up, in tears scribed:

"To those who don't care, to those who can't see,
Never Give up always thrive to be free."
Didn't know how many people would later cry.
"Tried to be free, yet I see this isn't the way."

Friend at the door, ran as fast as she could.
Too weak to say I'm sorry, otherwise I would.
In tears, looked at the blue sad day.
When you come and see this pool of blood and me,
This isn't the way my life was meant to be.