Summer Loving and Your Teen Girl

"Summer lovin' happened so fast" - for your teenaged daughter and her parents too. You weren't expecting the girl you put on the bus for summer camp to transform into a teenager in love. The closest you'll come to meeting her boyfriend is a quick hello on the phone, and her strongest role model at the moment is a girl only a few years older than she is. Having just been through this experience, I can tell you it's completely nerve wracking! But teen girls in love can make sensible choices, despite your worst fears. It all comes down to positive parenting before the romance begins.

Strong Parenting Creates Strong Girls
Good parenting doesn't start when a girl reaches puberty. If your strongest instinct now is to drive up to camp so you can parent her through the ups and downs of teen romance, chances are you've been teaching your daughter to make smart choices all her life. Take a deep breath now, and trust her to think for herself. She has been steeped in your values since she was in diapers, and she knows her own limits. A strong girl is always a strong girl, even when her heart is beating like crazy and she only has eyes for that one special boy. Our daughter may have gone a couple days without calling home, but when her friends were pressuring her to make choices that didn't feel right she had the strength to tell them she'd make her own decisions. And she had no trouble telling her boyfriend where she drew the line, either.

Teen Love and Responsibility
It's only natural for your teen girl to want time alone with her boyfriend, but a parent knows being treated like adults is a privilege teenagers need to earn. It isn't cool to sneak a boy into the girls' cabin, or to take off and give the staff a fright. Be sure your daughter understands camp rules about romantic relationships before she leaves for the summer, and talk to her about ways to enjoy a boy's company without breaking the rules. Our daughter found that staff were happy she'd found love with another camper, because the two of them helped each other enjoy their camp experience and they worked hard to respect the rules.

End of Summer Blues - What Now?
The end of summer can be a rough time, especially if your teen girl and her boyfriend live far apart. But don't assume the summer romance will turn into a long distance romance once camp is over. Your daughter and her boyfriend need to make that decision for themselves, and they may choose to part ways. Teen love can be a tad fickle, and the relationship may have lost its novelty anyway. Don't worry if you're more disappointed about the end than your daughter or her boyfriend are.

If your teen girl wants to keep a commitment to her boyfriend, you can help her set reasonable expectations and goals. No, it isn't reasonable to start sending out wedding invitations or expect parents to move house to accommodate the relationship. But it may be possible to arrange a visit during the winter or spring break. Encourage the young lovers to stay in touch using social media or by letter writing. It's a lot easier to keep a summer romance going into the fall when the couple's parents aren't upset over a huge long distance bill!