Summer Reality Check: Reality Shows Abound in the Summer Line Up

Oh, reality tv fans, your time has come! Those of us who simply can't get enough reality shows are in heaven during the summer television season as the big networks flock to the unscripted (yet carefully edited) world of reality. This year the networks are debuting 11 (12 if you count the August premiere of The Biggest Loser, I don't) reality shows, 5 of which are brand new. But here's a reality check for you, not all reality shows are created equal, and so I've broken them into three categories: The Good, The Bad, and The Downright Mean.

The Good

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox)

So You Think You Can Dance is the show that I look forward to most all summer long. Granted, I have been involved in dance as a student, dancer or teacher for 25 years, and I happen to think Mia Michaels' contemporary choreography is moving. It's the only show where ballroom dancers, ballerinas and b-boys can all square off on the same stage. Even if you're a newbie to the concept of dance, you can still appreciate the amount of hard work and talent the So You Think You Can Dance contestants display, and you can enjoy the reality show standard audition process complete with everyone's favorite bad auditions with a few touching life stories thrown in for flavor.

Creature Comforts (CBS)

You might be wondering how a show about animated animals could count as reality tv. When it's Chicken Run's Aardman Animations orchestrating claymation versions of real people's interviews, it's close enough for me! I know, Creature Comforts sounds like some executive has lost his mind. I mean, try to imagine someone listening to an interview saying "I like this, but it would be so much better if he were an ostrich." I have been watching the original British hit Creature Comforts for a while now on BBC America, and let me tell you, these guys not only know clay, they know comedy as well. If the American version of Creature Comforts is even half as good as its British brother, you will be pleasantly surprised.

Hell's Kitchen (Fox)

Gordon Ramsey is back and better than ever. He's tough, he's brutal, and like many reality show judges, he actually knows what he's talking about. We've adored this reality show for two summer seasons now, and the third promises to be just as great. Best of all, it's going to be a great kick start for Fox's new fall reality show Kitchen Nightmares, where Gordon Ramsey helps struggling restaurants get back on track. That's another one I've been TiVo-ing on BBC America for a while now, and it's high on my fall list too.

On the Lot (Fox)

If you've been missing Project Greenlight, then make sure you catch On the Lot, another new reality show for Fox. On the Lot has budding filmmakers battling it out American Idol style for viewer votes and a big break contract at Dreamworks. This show is bound to be awesome, as it combines the reality show system of American Idol, the thrill of the behind the scenes film industry, and great film making minds like Gary Marshall and show creator Steven Spielberg. Besides, it's the summer, and if there's one thing we love more than reality shows in the summer it's movies, and On the Lot has both.

Shaq's Big Challenge (ABC)

We knew there had to be at least one socially relevant reality show this summer, and this year it's ABC's Shaq's Big Challenge. In this reality show Shaq will tackle childhood obesity and help Florida middle schoolers struggling with weight develop healthy eating and exercises habits. He won't stop with just the kids on the show, though, he'll be teaching local schools and communities how to get fitness and diet back into their own programs. Why will this show be good? First, it's Shaq. Everyone loves Shaq. Second, it just might offer a practical solution for a national issue, and third, I'm sure it will be full of touching moments to get our summer reality tears a flowing. You gotta have at least one reality show that makes you cry.

The Bad

America's Got Talent (NBC)

I know, there are 30 million plus of you out there who are calling my reality show blasphemy on sticking America's Got Talent in the bad section of my summer reality show breakdown. Well, I'm sorry, but I thought last year was a waste of time, and I have no doubt this year will be as well. Pop star and actress Brandy has been booted for Sharon Osbourne, which means we'll have not one but two Brits deciding who in America has talent or not; that seems a little Stamp Act weird to me. I thought last year's "talent" was mediocre at best, and most of the acts were nowhere near as good as their already successful counterparts. We should rename it "America's Biggest Gimmick," although if the Rapping Granny ever outsells 50 Cent I'll eat my words on that one. Besides, likable Regis Philbin has been replaced with Jerry Springer, and I hope he's bringing Steve the Bodyguard to break up the inevitable fights between the sword swallowers and the ventriloquists. If that happens, maybe I'll bump it up on my summer reality show breakdown, but I'm not expecting miracles.

Last Comic Standing (NBC)

We watched the previous season of Last Comic Standing take the show to a whole new low, featuring more experienced, professional comics than undiscovered talent at the beginning of a career. There were even rumors (note: rumors that to my knowledge have never been proved) flying that the contestants on the reality show were determined more by their agents than the audition process. The competition itself seemed like a farce just to get more exposure to the comics rather than find the best new comic in America. NBC, you have broken the cardinal rule of talent based reality shows; we want to find someone new, not someone who's already got an HBO special in the works. And bring back Jay Mohr.

Pirate Master (CBS)

I did not want to put CBS's new summer reality show Pirate Master on the bad list, but reality tv history tells me I should. The fact is, I'm anxiously looking forward to this "Survivor on a boat" reality show and I really, really hope it's good. There's pirates and gold and weekly competitions to man the helm of the ship as Capitan, as well as the usual reality show drama, backstabbing and lies. Please, CBS, please let Pirate Master be a good show, because I have every intention of giving this reality show a chance.

The Next Best Thing (ABC)

ABC has come to the conclusion that the next best thing to actually seeing a celebrity is to see a celebrity impersonator. I have been to Las Vegas numerous times, I've seen more celebrity impersonators than I'd care to remember and unless you're talking Danny Gans, they are not the next best thing. The next best thing is watching the actual celebrity on Austin City Limits. But, in The Next Best Thing's favor, it is a cute reality show with a bunch of funny moments. I'll watch it at 2 a.m. on TiVo if I have nothing else to do.

The Downright Mean

American Inventor (ABC)

There's hope for this season of reality show American Inventor since they dumped judge Doug Hall from last season. Although some of Doug's comments were valid constructive criticisms, many came off more sour than reality show veteran villain Simon Cowell (an American Inventor producer, by the way). Where Cowell tends to tell the truth and nothing but the truth in an unfiltered and often rude fashion, Doug Hall came off more as a jerk with a chip on his shoulder. They've since replaced him which might pull American Inventor out of the downright mean reality show category, but for now we remember Doug Hall a bit too clearly.

Age of Love (NBC)

NBC's Age of Love is your standard Bachelor-esque dating reality show with the predictable summer twist. This time, eligible bachelor and tennis pro Mark Philippoussis (take that, spell check!) must chose the love of his summer between women in their 20s and women in their 40s exploring how much age is a factor in attraction. My prediction is that it will come between one of the younger and one of the older, and although the older woman will obviously be a much better match than the younger, Mark will choose the younger one anyway. My source? Years of summer reality show history, after all, did the buxom beauty ever choose the average Joe? I could be wrong, and Mark could break the mold. But unless he does, this social experiment belongs among summer reality show's downright mean.

Kick back and enjoy this summer's crop of reality shows. Some will be worth your TiVo space, some are worth skipping, and some fulfill the nasty quota to a tee. We've got talent, lack of talent, love, food and animated clay animals to look forward to this summer, and for reality tv fans, it's going to be a great season.