Sunday Reflections- the Want that Taunts

Yesterday, for reasons to be explained in another article, I found myself at 3^rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, Calif- during the 'Good Energy Festival', aptly named for the booths filled with eco friendly wares and wears. But on either side of this Festival were stores and restaurants, and the 'wants' immediately came to mind. I dared not step inside them. Knowing I could neither afford to buy or dream of expensive things like jeans that cost $240.00 a pair. I soothed myself- by saying to me "You know what $240.00 dollars could buy? It could buy food for three months or five if I stretched it. And wouldn't it be better just to find a person who needed $240.00, provided I had it to give, than to buy a $240.00 pair of jeans?"

The longer I stayed, the longer the stores lured me but I stayed away. I did promise myself to buy a good lunch at a nicer restaurant for $10.00 to $15.00 dollars; perhaps I'd find a really nice appetizer and some good fodder for writing- about finding this great new place to eat. I chose an outdoor French bistro, and was immediately placed in the sun, it was hot. It had no place setting, they didn't bring me water, they didn't bring me bread and butter and they didn't even look my way for over fifteen minutes, nor could I gather their attention. Perhaps if I had not been placed in the glaring sun, I would have enjoyed myself.

Finally, I got up and went to my server and said," You know coming here was a real treat today. I rarely get to take myself to lunch, and my service isn't set up, I haven't been brought water and I've been sitting in the hot sun. I was hoping this would be a special experience." She promised to bring me water yet none came, even as they were refilling the glasses of others around me. By then I was parched and feeling 'angry', yes angry. My special moment was being ruined and ... just then the server came over and apologized and offered me a free dessert with my meal. "That's more like it I thought." I asked for water again. It didn't come for another five minutes even though my meal had arrived and even though I had no set-up with which to eat it; I still had no bread and butter (something I relish at French restaurants).

I was feeling slighted, somewhat like the lone ranger. I looked about to the promenade and saw people passing by in designer clothing, beautiful handbags, and in general stuff that I sometimes want. I tried to remember that wanting for 'things superficial' is a dangerous trap for me. Not that people shouldn't have nice things and I was not one bit jealous for those walking by, but for myself, from my personal pitfalls of the past- A designer pair of jeans or a Gucci bag is not worth having- if, my brother is in need of rice. Perhaps that is why, I've not been blessed with money for I tend to lack willpower with it and instead my blessing is more with empathy, sympathy, and a station in life that while comfortable, keeps me accountable for every cent I spend. It may not seem like much of a blessing but it is.

I sometimes write about fashion. Fashion to me is art and I love creative talents in all its forms. I love the look of a well built handbag and a great pair of jeans, or a Horchow vanity seat fit for a princess. I'm just a different kind of princess, that's all. Someday, in Heaven I will sit next to the lamb and lion. The lion won't eat me and I won't eat the lamb, and I'll say farewell to this dog eat dog world. Perhaps I'll sit on something heavenly comfortable and I will not have to nag my way to a good lunch. I'll be given a new body and perspective in a land so glorious that it will be, oh yes, that's right Heaven.