Super Bowl Ad Reviews

All statements are strictly the opinion of the highly respected ad reviewer, Captain Llamapants. Captain Llamapants has not been paid to endorse or not endorse any product herein.

Emerald Nuts: Machetes and Druids
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
(Click here to watch this ad)

Ummm...right. This ad was obviously made by someone who either actually was a midget druid living under some stairs himself or who was smoking crack (or both). Captain Llamapants had to give this ad at least a two-star rating because, well, there was a druid. However, that does not forgive this commercial's downright unconnected weirdness. As soon as it starts, I'm thinking what the hell is this about? Then the flying acronym thing was ... random -- at best. And what's up with the Asian guys? How do they fit in? Emerald Nuts, this ad leaves us wanting for more. I'm all for "wacky", but here we have too many unanswered questions in this puzzling and thrown together advertisement. I was too stunned by the beginning of the ad to realize it was ending or to remember what the heck the product was.

Aleve: Leonard Nimoy
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
(Click here to watch this ad)

Live long and prosper with Aleve's Leonard Nimoy ad. This commercial for arthritis relief was very clever in its use of this famous Star Trek actor. Mr. Nimoy enters, grumbling on the phone to his agent about his fingers stuck together, absently waving at passersby. The tension to see the iconic Vulcan greeting builds as he continues walking. Why won't his fingers open? His agent recommends taking Aleve. Skeptical, but in pain and needing to go on stage for his adoring fans, Mr. Nimoy swallows the medicine. He approaches the podium. All is hushed, gazing at his raised hand. Suddenly, the greeting has been made! The crowd goes wild!

I thought the timing was impeccable in this commercial. Those experiencing pain like this surely can relate to the skepticism Mr. Nimoy expressed, and then the relief of the medicine actually working. The relief concided with the audience abrupting in enthusiastic cheers which helped reinforce the good feeling Aleve suggests would happen. This received three out of five stars because while the celebrity recognition was good, the acting well done, and the plot device clever, it was not the kind of thirty seconds that I would talk about at the water cooler the next day. I saw it; it was cute. End of story.

Vault: Kickass Scarecrow
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
(Click here to watch this ad)

How can you go wrong with a robotic flame-throwing scarecrow frying hippies and crows in a cornfield? Coke's Vault commerical is action-packed and funny. Farmer Brian is inspired by the movie voice narrarator to improve his pathetic scarecrow that is falling apart. Entering the barn, he quickly forges together a futuristic scarecrow of destruction! The military-themed music and aptly placed cornfield pests are perfect. The product is reinforced at the end, reminding me Vault will inspire my ambitions to rule the world from my barn. This one is a keeper.