Superman Renounces US Citizenship

When the going gets tough, the tough get going -- Out of the country, that is! Perhaps even south of the border! And I'm not talking just past Taco Bell!

Despite his actual origins as an alien from another world, for decades Superman has proudly called America his home. For generations his citizenship has been indisputable.

However, in the # 900 edition of Action Comics, we see an extremely fed up and hot tempered Superman. Looks like he fell off the wrong side of the bed this morning. Or maybe someone sprinkled some kryptonite dust into his breakfast cereal. No matter what happened, this is a Superman who's lost his patience. Don't mess with him!

Sensitive Guy, But Misunderstood

They say it's lonely at the top. And so it is for Superman.

You would think after several decades of being such a resilient statesman, making a lot of tough calls, living on the edge of what's considered right and wrong on the lonely plains of morality and ethics, Superman would have developed a nice thick elephant skin by now. But, it appears he may have not gotten past that sensitive 90s guy dynamic the rest of us seemed to have left behind.

In this latest edition of the comic episode, we see Superman speaking with the President's national security advisor, who is pissed off with Superman for having appeared in Tehran to stage a non-violent support of the protesters scuffing it up with some Iranian hard-liners - a plot not surprisingly parallel to the recent protests we're seeing in the Middle East right now.

Despite his best intentions, the Iranian government lackeys have misinterpreted the Big Man's move as a puppet strings pulled by the President of the United States. To make matters worse, Iran's stooges think Superman's appearance is an endorsement of war.

The Unthinkable

Says Superman of this recent fabrication, "I'm tired of having my actions construed as instruments of US policy -- Truth, justice, and the American way... it's not enough anymore."

Quite clearly the Big Man has had enough.

When speaking with the president's national advisor, Superman declares that he will renounce his US citizenship in front of the United Nations Council. But, that comes tomorrow in comic world. So, whenever they publish the next edition, we get to see how the drama shakes out.

What Next?

What will Superman do next? Will he go off his diet, and hit up every Chinese food buffet that he runs across? Masticating his way through those delicious eggrolls, slurping that hot and sour soup, stuffing his mighty jaws with some deep-freid crab rangoons, and then checking himself into the Betty Ford clinic for Superheroes with Debilitating Food Binging Tendencies.

Or will the Big Man finally settle down with his secret lover, Wonder Woman (or Cat Woman?), and have some Super Brats. With a beer in one hand and hot dogs on the grill, kids running around skinning their knees, his wife yelling at him with disheveled hair, and a great dane pooping in the back yard - finally will Superman sit back with a contented smirk on his face, and say...

"Miel! Donde esta mi hamgurguesa?" (Honey! Where's my hamburger?)

He'll say that because he's not living in America anymore. He will have gone south to Tijuana to retire, but will pop up north of the border to chow down at the China Buffet in Nogales.

But hey, you didn't hear it from me, Amigo!