Support the Military Families as Well as the Troops

I hear alot lately about Support the Troops and I agree with it. But what about the families. I think most of the time these people forget that alot of the service men and women out there have wives, husbands, kids...families. The families who have to sit and wonder while their loved one is overseas, the mother or father who has suddenly become akin to a single parent while their spouse is gone, Be it overseas in a warzone or simply at another duty station unable to bring your family with you.

I see people walk up to new service members that have graduated from bootcamp and congratulate them, but I've never seen anyone thank the family for the sacrifice that their loved one has chosen to make. It makes me wonder if people actually know what the families go through to have a Military person in their lives. I'll tell you about it from a bit of first hand experience, for I am an Army Wife.

My husband joined the Army in 2005 at the age of 29. Alot later than most people. At the time we had 3 children ranging in age from 6 down to 1. Up until that time we had seen and talked with each other every day for the last 4 years since we'd been together. I fully supported his decision and thought that it was a step in the right direction for the both of us. Little did i know that while he was away I would suffer through daily bouts of depression, crying children constantly asking for Daddy and relying on my mother for helping to keep my sanity. No contact with him other than daily letters and if i remember correctly 2 phone calls. One that said he got there safely, the other to say he was coming back home. That as the first time he left and it was only for 9 weeks of bootcamp and 7 weeks of schooling.

Some say he chose the worst time to join the military and come September of 05, I probably would have agreed. That was when my husband informed me he was being shipped to Iraq. Not even 9 months out of bootcamp and my beloved was going into what I've heard some people describe as the worst place in the world to be. I know some people think that We should have realized what we were getting into when he joined. I do. I knew exactly what was coming having expected no less of the US Government. The reality of it was much much harder. The writing of Wills and Powers of Attorney make one examine life. Once again my heart felt like it was being ripped from me. The departure ceremony I remember vaguely. The Army Commander was talking but for the life of me I can't remember what was said. I just remember watching my husband standing there tall, in his uniform and thinking to myself that while my heart is breaking, I'm just so proud of him.

He was gone for a year. He left in November of 05. We even hand thanksgiving dinner before he left. But after that, there were alot of firsts that while we knew were coming, were harder to handle than I expected. Our first Christmas apart, our first wedding anniversary apart, Birthdays, holidays and simply just days. At first I cried alot, and had to constantly explain to my curious children that Daddy was away at work again. It was hard to deal with him being gone but thankfully the miracle of the Internet made things almost bearable. I could keep him apprised of daily goings on, Try to keep him as an active parent in the household as well as having him still have a big say in the household decisions. There were times when we would have no contact for weeks on end because he was on mission. Those times were the worst. The times when you wonder and bite your nails. My biggest fear during that year was seeing a car pull up to the house with a chaplain and someone in uniform stepping out.

Alot of people say "Don't worry he'll be fine" or "The time will fly by so fast you won't even notice." While these words are meant to comfort they rarely do. And while he did come home safely, the time really didn't fly by. There were days when it actually seemed to be going slower than normal. These days though just go by one by one. He's been back in the states for almost a year now, but he isn't currently at home. He's in another state training for a new army job. My kids equate him being gone with him being at work. I delivered our 4th child while he was away. And now my biggest fear is, that while it gets easier to let him go each time he has to leave, Our relationship will suffer because of him being gone. For now, I cherish the times we're together and pray each day to be as strong as the first day when I saw him step onto that bus.

For all of you out there who read this I only ask one thing. The next time you thank a service member for doing his duty to his country, Remember there is a spouse, lover, family behind them supporting them as well and thank them for their sacrifice. Thank them for having the same courage as their service member, even though they aren't the ones wearing the uniform.