Surgical Menopause: How My Life Changed in a Moment

These days there are articles in every magazine and stories on every talk show discussing menopause and HRT (hormone replacement therapy). The one thing I never hear people discuss is when they get what would be referred to as surgical menopause wherein the onset of menopause is due to having your ovaries removed.
At forty I had the unfortunate situation of making a decision to have a complete hysterectomy wherein they remove the uterus and cervix, but leave the ovaries in place. It was not an easy decision to make and I weighed the pros and cons first. It meant no more periods, but it also meant not having children. I weighed the options, discussed it with my husband and finally decided the best thing for me was to have the surgery and at the time, it seemed like the right decision.

Unfortunately, soon thereafter I had to return to the operating room again, but the real kicker came when my surgeon said to me, "I don't want to remove the ovaries because I don't think you can handle it." I must say I was pretty appalled hearing this statement from my ob/gyn. I know we make jokes about how mens' brains are in their pants, but here I sit in her office while she tells me I have to get cut open again and she's making comments about my mental state. If she wants to delve into that area, she's looking in the wrong end. What did she expect from me? Was she waiting for me to jump up and down, throw in a little cheer and finish with a back flip over this news? Apparently my brief bout of choking up is not appropriate behavior. By this time she was going down a list of anti-depressants. What is the matter with doctors? Are they under pressure to get more pills in our hands. Everyone always wants to get you on a pill and I hate pills. Oh, you're overweight, here, take a pill. Sad? Take a pill. Tired? Take a pill. Suck at math? Take a pill. To me a pill should be a last resort, not a solution to every one of life's problems. I refused the prescription and I am glad I did.

I can honestly say the following year improved as I quickly lost thirty pounds, had more energy, less irritability, I felt great and I had an overabundance of confidence. Additionally, I no longer had to deal with periods or any of the side effects. What a great feeling it was to realize that I'd never have to purchase tampons, pads or pantie liners ever again. Never again would I have to buy bottles of Midol to get me through the day or worry that I might have that "not so fresh feeling" ever again, That would never be me! Yea! I felt fabulous and looked great, but like the elastic in underwear, it was not meant to last. I was soon going to discover what menopause was all about and I was going to find out overnight.

It was about a year and a half later that something seemed wrong. The pain in my side which prompted the discussion of having a hysterectomy in the first place came back with a vengeance and there was only one final option proposed to me at the time. I now had to consider that my ovaries had to come out. I can honestly say this was not the news I wanted to hear. Taking my ovaries meant only one thing to me and that was entering into instant menopause and now I was faced with the reality of my surgeon's comment. I now had to wonder if I was going to be able to handle it. I was so angry she even put that in my head, I decided to find another doctor, get a second opinion and have this new doctor perform the surgery if necessary. With surgical menopause you by-pass that peri-menopausal stage and go right for the gusto.

The doctor prescribed me Estradiol for my therapy which I initially declined to take since I don't like to have to take a pill everyday, plus I was worried about the side effects and my health. I will tell you that within a few days of my oophorectomy (removal of ovaries) the major hot flashes set in and it was not fun. All day long I would have bouts lasting several minutes which felt like I was internally combusting. My husband was kind enough to fan me with the newspaper until I'd cool down. I soon moved to carrying a paper fan around all the time because I never knew when a hot flash would hit. I had older friends at work who would tell me about their experiences with the hot flashes where they would have to change their clothes, sheets and sometimes even take a cold shower in the middle of the night to get through. Fortunately I didn't seem to be having them that bad, but they were still to come. Gradually the sweats got worse and more often to the point where it would wake me up often throughout the night. Drenched in sweat I would kick off the covers only to have to pull them back over myself within minutes because a cold chill always followed. I could deal with the hot flashes pretty well until they really began to disrupt my sleep. After fighting it for about eight months I decided to try taking my medication, but I still couldn't bring myself to take it every day.

It's now been just over a year and I rarely have a hot flash during the day. I might have one roughly once every few weeks, but it is very mild. I put lighter covers on the bed, added a table-top fan (I have a ceiling fan which works great on high, but that hurts my ears) and I take my Estradiol a few times a week. I can't say there aren't occasional mild hot flashes at night, but for the most part I sleep like I always did, straight through the night. As for my mood, I really don't think it ever changed, except maybe for the better. I found myself calmer, more tolerable and less ready to stress out right off the bat. That was going quite well for a while until recently. The hot flashes are near non-existent, but I guess with time other things will happen. Lately, I find myself just tearing up for no reason. I'm also beginning to realize the biggest downside to menopause is the weight gain. Maybe that is what's making me cry? Putting away the skinny clothes for sweat pants could make any woman cry. I am determined to persevere and win the battle against menopause. I feel I've won half the battle and hopefully with my next visit to the doctor, we can figure out a way to battle the bulge. I've got a lot of living to do and would prefer to do it in a size 2, but I'll settle for a 6.